For all you who think I am strong the reality is I am not.
As my friends I ask you
If I were gone tomorrow what would you say and to whom?
My mother who said was a mistake and that she had been rotting in hell since the day I was born?
My oldest child who speaks little to me at all.
The friends I have lost along the way, because they think it’s about the attention and having been through it before?
The 1st Husband who beat me?
The 2nd husband who beat me?
The 3rd who once again said I was a mistake.
The 10 year relationship that proved money was more important than love
Or the last one, the happiest year of my life, turning out to be a lie.
The cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me. I opened myself up to him
Only to be thrown away like a 5 oz Dixie cup.
How would you tell my story?
Would you sugar coated it Or give the honest, bare and gritty facts.
Would you speak kind words and tell me mother all I wanted was to be loved.
Would you shed a tear as you tell my daughter I made the wrong choice but she was always important to me?
Would ask the friends if they knew why or understood?
Would you understand why Husband 1 and 2 beat me?
Would you asked the 3rd why I was mistake?
Would you care enough to tell the 10 year relationship that money can’t hold you at night?
Or would tell him that with him I was the happiest I had ever been, and when he turned his back he tore my world apart, emotionally crippled me. The cruelest thing that has ever been done to me.
Would you care to tell him the kind of love I feel for him is once in a life time and he is a fool?
Would it matter? Would it make a difference?
The reality is no one will ever know the pain, devastation I have gone through.
The struggle of everyday life, the mile that I walk in my shoes.
You’d find there would be no closure, no one definite answer but thousands.
Like a streaming film…going over and over and over in your mind.
And I ask of you again my friend what would you say?