Can you send me a joke about science

Will you send me a science joke

http://www.chacha.com/question/will-you-send-me-a-science-joke

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Joke? Letter to my Kids, love Mom.?

Q: Letter From MomDear Kids,Don’t be alarmed, the world isn’t coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath. It will take about thirty minutes and will involve soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn’t, forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more work than I’ve got energy for.(Which reminds me, I’m all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water.)Don’t panic if I’m not out right on time. I’ve heard that people don’t dissolve in water and I’d like to test the theory. While I’m in the tub, I’d like you to remember a few things. The large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my voice. I promise that even though you can’t see me, I am on the other side. I’m not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border, no matter what I said a while ago. I didn’t mean it. Honest. There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day.”Later” means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating bubble gum in the blow dryer. I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair.Believe it or not, shouting, “TELEPHONE!” through the closed bathroom door will not make the phone stop ringing. The answering machine will take the message. If you feel you need to answer it, take a message. Since Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you’ll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can’t send him to school with telephone number tattoos.Water makes me wet, not deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of “nothing” and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I’m choosing NOT to answer you.Don’t call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn’t appreciate it last time. He won’t appreciate it more this time. Trust me. No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded.No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to play. No, you can’t go to Jayden’s house to use the bathroom. If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait. Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to “water” the lawn. I know the dog does it. The neighbors don’t feel the need to call me when the dog does it.Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is reality, the place where people don’t like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them. Do not set the house on fire.Call me if there is an emergency. Emergencies ARE:Dad has fallen off the roof.Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.There’s a red fire truck in front of our house.Emergencies ARE NOT:Dad has fallen asleep.Someone on TV is bleeding.There’s a red pickup truck in front of our house.One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots. In the future, when the tub overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house. For my sanity’s sake, let’s pretend it was the tub, Okay? No, I don’t want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not while I’m standing in the pool of water you missed.By the way, all Play-Doh experiments are hereby canceled.Be good. Entertain yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table. I’ll be out soon.Maybe.Love,Your MomNo dear I did not write the joke. I just posted it.I hope you can laugh at it. :DPlease give me a star on question if you enjoyed the joke. Thanks.You do not need to have a puppy since this is a Joke site and these are all jokes. Did you ever hear of a rhetorical question? Webster’s dictionary can help you out on that.

A: I love this! My grand kids stand outside the restroom door & think of so many reasons that they need to come in. When that doesn’t work, they lay down on the floor & stick their little hands & feet under the door & say “Grandma, can you see my fingers?” “Grandma, can you see my toes?”

cAN aANY1 tELL ME IF THIS JOKE IS HILARIOUS?

Q: professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”The professor replied, “No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”

A: Great one. Literally LOL. As the cowboy saying goes, “I won the belt buckle, I bought the truck, and I was just helping that sheep to the fence.”

Anyone like jokes about Gramma?

Q: =======One day Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water to cook dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma’s kitchen. “Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Gramma asked him. “I can’t get any water from that water hole, Gramma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!” “Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!” “Well, Gramma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared as I am, then that water ain’t fit to drink!” ==========When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got a 100 in school. Her dad told her to sit down and tell him all about it. She said, “Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling! ===============Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.” “Good idea.” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”

A: My two young daughters (aged 3 and 6) were playing doctor the other day…Using a baby doll…they pretended to deliver babies from each other.They even had the correct body positioning for the mother.