It’s the day after Christmas. I have five days before New Years. My best friend invited me to her New Years Eve party and I am actually looking forward attending the party. As I reflect on the events of 2011, many amazing events happened in my life: bought a new home, survived a move, gave up my Jeep (gas guzzler) and went without a boyfriend this year. Big one for me, since my divorce, I have been apprehensive to not have someone around. I finally realized that it’s just fine, NOT to have a companion, NOT to have dates every weekend and most of all, LOVE MY LIFE without one.
It took awhile, but I made it. My girls continue to see my personal growth, self-esteem blossom and being more “present ” for them. It’s amazing how much time we spend texting, checking emails, talking in the car when we could be spending that time with our children. Having a close group of girlfriends, family and just keeping busy helped me get through this time.
What I found worked for me and I wanted to pass it along to the readers. Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely. Find your passion, an activity or cause you care deeply about. Mine is the struggles of our society with Human Trafficking. Get moving and really search inside yourself for your passion. Have a belief system. If that’s prayer, pray, meditation , meditate, get outside and exercise. Make smarter choices about friends, work associates and stay away from negative people.
Love yourself first. If you need to speak to someone, be it a pastor, best friend, or a therapist, call them. Talk about what makes you feel sad or empty. Focus on your present life, your children, little successes life brings you. This worked for me and I will forever be thankful for sessions with my therapist and her monthly AH HA moments with me!
Hears wishing all the single mothers a wonderful New Year and 2012. I want to share one of my mothers famous Cuban mother sayings, ” Es mejor estar sola que mal acopanada”. It is better to be alone than in bad company. There are about 100 more, but this one always stands out for me. Its true, I don’t want to be in a negative relationship again, only one that enhances my life. Here I come 2012! Bring it on….