3 Funny and Inspirational Valentine’s Day Memories

My sister, living in Korea right now, tells me that single Koreans celebrate Single’s Day on April 14th. On that day, singles frown and eat food dyed black with food coloring. Maybe you’re a virgin, don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day and you’ve never been kissed. Don’t let V-Day get you down. Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. This is my message: be proud, my single girlfriends.

My 3 Epic Valentine’s Day Fails

1. In 2000, when I was asked out on Valentine’s Day weekend it didn’t occur to me that the guy had romantic feelings for me. Why? Because I’m a dork and I only thought, it’s Chinese New Year. I associate white blossoms signalling early spring as time for visiting relatives, eating Chinese snacks and receiving red envelopes filled with cash if you are single. Not cupid. It was not until my date called me “Darling” did I realize that this was no ordinary date in San Francisco’s North Beach.

2. Like Zooey Deschanel, I never intended to be quirky, I just failed at being normal. So I let a date take me to the San Francisco Symphony to listen to the least romantic classical music concert ever: a program about a massacre in Russia.

3. In 2007, I set out to host a Valentine’s Day tea for my single girlfriends, with kids, at church and I forgot. I didn’t send a reminder and I left my refreshments at home that day. What happened in its place? One girlfriend set up a conference room at the church with a bubbling coffee pot filled with water and a plate of plastic wrapped heart-shaped cookies for me.

Why do I have any girlfriends now and why have I been married for three years? I don’t have an explanation. I’d say because my girlfriends are awesome and forgiving. I’d also say that every person must have his or her match. There’s a Chinese legend in the book Good Luck Life by Rosemary Gong that says every pair of destined lovers are connected by an invisible red thread and are fated to meet. If it’s invisible how can anyone know the thread is red? Don’t ask me.

Single ladies, listen to Beyonce and party like a rockstar for V-day! May I make a few suggestions? If you are religious, consider facilitating a book club for Five Aspects of Women by Barbara Mouser two weeks before V-day with your single girlfriends. This will make you raise your fists in the air and experience sisterhood. If you prefer secular reading, ditch the infamous dating book by Ellen Fein in favor of Sherry Arsov’s book. You know which one. Lastly, support the local actresses for the Vagina Monologues by attending the play or auditioning for a role. Proceeds for this play goes to battling domestic violence against our sisters.

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