Animal House- America?

There was once a frat house, full of frat boys, who lived high. Initially they lived high on their parent’s money. When that ran out they borrowed.

While they were partying, a ruthless gang leader destroyed a very symbolic piece of the frat house. The members were enraged. They went to remove the leadership of a rival frat house. The rumors were that he had ties to the gang leader, but they were so enraged they didn’t have much time to fully investigate. The younger members they sent were willing and brave, but the rival frat leader still had many friends and the task took a lot longer and cost a lot more than they expected. No matter, the frat boys kept partying, in fact they added to the house. They added hot tubs, dance floors, game rooms, which continued to add to the energy bills, but not to any productivity on the part of the frat. In fact, there was little studying go on in the frat. Studying was for the other frats, which they made fun of. They gained weight, lots of it. They borrowed from these frats to expand the house, and for the energy to run this extra space, which ironically was bought from the real friends of the ruthless gang leader. In fact, they bought so much energy that the gang leader’s family was paid for all kinds of expansion projects at the rival frat house. Some of that money may have gone back to the gang leader, we’re not really sure. No matter, they partied, puked all over the floors and didn’t lift a finger to upkeep their dwelling. They only lifted fingers when addressing members of the other frat houses, even the ones that have been longstanding friends.

Eventually they could not borrow any more. Having not studied as much as the other frat houses, they were not employable. They turned to a new leader, whose background and looks were very different than the old chief.

The new leader cleaned up the puke, but couldn’t get all the stains. He eliminated the gang leader and most of his trench men. He brought the younger members back from the rival frat house.

He also suggested that they try to limit their drinking, repair the house, study more, lose weight and see a doctor. He also presented them a bill for cleaning up the puke and paying the interest on the money they borrowed. They said he was intruding on their lives, spent too much money and wanted to keep spending it. Besides, he still left puke stains after the cleaning. Although they were less interested in taking over other frat houses, they really missed their drinking and hot tubs. They felt it was the leader’s responsibility to find them jobs, and once they got money, they could turn their lives around. Problem was that no one wanted to hire drunken, uneducated frat boys, other than other drunken frat boys who had no money. The typical response to their applications was “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life”.

To be continued, and continued….

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