Who does not want to be a good parent? I try but often make my three biggest parenting mistakes. Take today for instance.
I am dressing up my 18 month old son for outdoors. It is around zero outside, but he does not want to put his snow boots on. After some fruitless persuading I give up and let him go in his running shoes. I failed to discipline him, and he might get cold.
Next, my relative reminds me to keep trying to potty train my son. But oops. I miss my chance again! He is done, and I did not take him to the potty on time. I blame myself for being too slow and jeopardizing the training.
At the end of the day I nurse my little guy in our bed staying with him until he is asleep. I worry that I fail to train him to fall asleep on his own. As my mom had said – what if he will need me to fall asleep when he is 20? Will I need to go to college with him? How do I avoid constant failures?
Mistake#1: Being too hard on myself
Is this even possible to be perfect and right all the time? Blaming myself did not help me succeed with potty training today. But being relaxed in the evening, I easily put the warm snow boots on my son while telling a story. Do not waste your energy on putting yourself under pressure: your child needs a relaxed and happy mother. Apparently, there are other parenting experts out there besides my relatives.
Mistake #2: Forgetting to enjoy every minute with my baby
I keep myself busy with listening to advice, following rules and self judging. But I keep thinking about the fun we had outdoors today and the good time cuddling when falling asleep. Shouldn’t this experience be my major focus? Thinking about it, I haven’t met any 20-year old who needs his mom to fall asleep.
Mistake #3: Worrying that I am not ready to be a parent
Well, practice makes perfect. I am learning to persuade my toddler to dress properly. Most likely, one day both of us will be ready for potty training. With any luck and with much perseverance, after two or three more children, I just have got to become ready for parenting.