Black Women Are Haters: Where’s the Sisterhood?

Black women call each other “sister” all the time. It’s a cute thing to say, but in most cases, black women only call each other that because it’s traditional, but the way they treat each other is totally different.

As an African American growing up in our flawed culture, I realized that black women were haters at a very young age. I actually thought it was in our DNA to be like that. I thought it was normal for black girls to be mean to each other. By the time I was in second grade, I tried to join in and be mean to other black girls just like my friends were. I tried to fit in with the culture.

I grew out of that quickly. It just wasn’t in me to keep treating innocent people like scum just because others were doing it. I eventually started hanging out with mostly white girls and a few black girls just to get the proper balance. The white girls had their issues too, and I didn’t stay friends with them very long either. But their issue wasn’t that they were haters, they were just really “fake”.

I now get along with both black and white women (and everyone in between) just fine. I am proud to say that I am well liked by most people I encounter. I have friends of all colors. However, I still dread dealing with some black women. Black women seem to be focused on giving other black women a hard time over nothing. I once had a school principal that put it best when he said, “Every time we have a fight at this school, 9 times out of 10 it’s girls, and it’s always over whose weave is the tightest.”

Black women are so good at making a fuss about stupid stuff-things that aren’t going to matter at the end of the day. Black women will sit in a corner and judge every black woman that walks past her. Can you imagine that we actually have the nerve to call each other sisters? Some sister we are!

Black women like to blame this on men. I’m not buying it. I don’t think anyone can make you be a hater. Black women are haters because it’s acceptable. It’s just that simple. If being cruel to other women was frowned down upon, we wouldn’t do it. Black women display this behavior in front of their daughters, nieces, and granddaughters, and it teaches them to do it too. Furthermore, it teaches them that it is okay to do it.

I have a saying: “Leave the bad attitude up to the pretty girls.” What do I mean by that? That means that in our society, the only women that can truly get a nasty attitude with other people are the ones that are pretty on the outside. From my own personal experience, many of the ugliest women are always the ones talking trash about other women. I never had a pretty hater. All of my haters were ugly. Many of the pretty girls never hated on me for anything. You know why? Because they were way prettier than me, and there was no need to hate!

I have a message for black women: Being a bitch doesn’t make you cuter, attractive, “real” or “hard”. It only makes you unlikeable. Sure, you may have some friends, but even they probably don’t like you for real. Being a nice person doesn’t mean you have to be weak. It just means you have to treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s a pretty simple concept. Look at the reputation of black women. Does it look like we can afford to tarnish our image anymore?

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