Cure for Obesity Found

There is a new drug that attacks your fat cells and destroys them.

Right now they are testing it on obese monkeys and it reduced their body fat by 11 percent over four weeks.

I know that I have the credibility of a politician, so to show that I can be, according to my ex-wives, semi reliable, here is an actual quote.

“Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”

Whoops, wrong quote. Here is a real quote:

“Obese rhesus monkeys lost on average 11 percent of their body weight after four weeks of treatment with an experimental drug that selectively destroys the blood supply of fat tissue, a research team led by scientists at The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer”

The news gets even better. Rick Perry may soon drop out of the Republican race.

But on the fat front, the news gets even better.

“Body mass index (BMI) and abdominal circumference (waistline) also were reduced, while all three measures were unchanged in untreated control monkeys. Imaging studies also showed a substantial decrease in body fat among treated animals.”

How does the new drug work? In a sentence – it attaches to fat cells and kills them. Of course, in the true tradition of scientific babble, the scientists noted:

“Previous attempts to treat obesity have predominantly focused on drugs aimed at suppressing appetite or increasing metabolism, the researchers noted, but these efforts have been hampered by their toxic side-effects. The MD Anderson group designed a new drug, which includes a homing agent that binds to a protein on the surface of fat-supporting blood vessels and a synthetic peptide that triggers cell death. Their blood supply gone, fat cells are reabsorbed and metabolized.”

The drug is called Adipotide and it will soon be tested on humans.

And even better news. Adipotide appears to have no side effects. At least in monkeys.

“Monkeys in the studies remained bright and alert throughout, interacting with caretakers and demonstrating no signs of nausea or food avoidance. This is a potentially important finding since unpleasant side-effects have limited the use of approved drugs that reduce fat absorption in the intestines.”

Hmm, monkeys in the study stayed bright and alert. Maybe we should give this drug to Congress?

University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center (2011, November 9). Obese monkeys lose weight on drug that attacks blood supply of fat cells. ScienceDaily. Retrieved November 14, 2011, from­ /releases/2011/11/111109143009.htm

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