Size matters, or does it? That’s the question that secretly plagues men who might be insecure about their ‘package’, and fuels hen-party conversations among women at happy hour. Although DNA dictates the size of a man’s penis (and he really has no control over it – except maybe according to a recent study linking eating too much chicken during pregnancy to smaller penis size in male fetuses. I bet a few men are calling their moms right now to complain.), most would agree it’s what he does with it that makes or breaks the bedroom Olympic games, right?
An article about average penis size on AskMen.com stated that average size is 3.5 to 3.7 inches when soft. Guess that’s the ‘soft’ scoop on schlong geometry. Of course, they cite ‘when soft’. Not every man has the skin capacity to stretch much further beyond that which begs the question, what do women (and men) really think about this analogy? (Is your penis size normal?)
My round table of brave and honest panelists had much to say about penis size.
Linda (laughing) – “I heard they made it smaller than what it really should be so that we could make men feel better about themselves”
Me – “You have an evil streak in you, Linda.”
Bev – “Yes she does!!! She is my evil step-sister!”
Monique (she’s back!) – “You know, people spend quite a bit of time talking about the sizes of men’s peni (Haynes-ism),but no one ever talks about women’s sizes. I mean, from some of the conversations I’ve been privy too, there are plenty of dinky vagi-gi in the world! For a man that is well endowed that must be nothing short of a piss-off!!”
Me – “Yea, it’s true. Physically, a woman can only hold about 6 inches of penis before the head hits the cervix; and it isn’t getting past that point; it’s not made to. So men over a good 6 inches get the short end of the stick, for sure! Now, on the other hand, there are women with stretched-out, Natural Bridge Caverns vaginas that can make the average sized man feel like a Vienna Sausage! Hint to average men: if you get an echo when you say hello to it, strap a 2 X 4 to your ass so you don’t fall in!”
Linda – “I have a mean streak!? Lol. I just refuse to put up with BS.”
Monique – “Um, yeah, while I understand that a man’s penis size is not of his doing, if you’re packin 6″, you betta fa sho make me love you before you get me in bed – else you ’bout to get a one way ticket to the curb!”
Me – “Ya’ll are scaring away the little fish! And I wouldn’t call a physical short-coming (damn..the puns just keep rolling out!) necessarily putting up with BS. That’s a separate matter. He might have a really long, strong tongue, Linda!”
Monique – “Shiiiii…tongue shmongue!”
Me – “You’re a tough crowd. Still, bless ya’lls honesty about penis size because it is good info to share in an article. Anyone have any real life tales of rejecting a guy out of your bed for being too small? Too large? (yea, that last one made me laugh, too).”
Becky – “I’ve had a couple small, tiny ones. While an outright rejections I just couldn’t do (I was young, what can I say) I can say that I made damn sure it didn’t happen again!”
Tammie – “Once, I saw one and it scared me so bad, I just could not even attempt it. Way too big, HUGE, LARGER THAN LIFE!”
Me – “I view that as a personal challenge! lol…Like trying to climb Everest.”
Monique – “You know I do!”
Me – “Spill it, ladies!”
Becky – “The first guy, a one-nighter, I nicknamed String Bean, okay, and that was pushing it because sometimes string beans are long. He was not. The other guy I actually dated for a couple of months and didn’t notice it until he covered it up with his hand to walk across the room and made some comment like “don’t look, its tiny” or something along those lines. It was just so patently pathetic, I couldn’t get past it.”
Me – “You didn’t notice until you saw it? You didn’t feel the difference? Or was he making a mountain out of a small penis?”
Becky – “I suppose it registered that it wasn’t a telephone pole. But he had other skills and used different positions to make it all good. It wasn’t a string bean, I can tell you that. So I wasn’t aware of it on a conscious level. After he did his little move, I was suddenly HYPER aware of it. And I think the turn off for me was his own insecurity and immaturity maybe. Hard to explain. That really finished it for me. But even now more than 10 years later, I remember it even if, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I remember his name.”
Me – “Ouch! He doesn’t register on your Richter Scale!”
Monique – “Um, ok. I don’t know WHO they were measuring to come up with an average of 6″. I mean, I think the smallest dude I EVER came across was 6″, and I almost caught a court case behind that mess (“your Honor, seriously? Look! *pointing at his crotch* What am I s’pose to do with that?”) He had good moves and all, poor baby, just wasn’t working with much, and he didn’t make me fall in love with him before he dropped his drawers. It was like giving Moby Dick a Tic Tac. *baaaahhhahahahaha* Now, on the other end of the spectrum was a brotha that should’ve come with his very own home episiotomy kit! *d’oh* That man didn’t have a penis, he had a flippin kickstand!! Hmm..now that I think of it, every time I saw him he WAS standing up. I took it for the team (over and over and over again, but trust that I did NOT do it without a hell of a lot of tequila.”
Kim – “Although size is nice, nothing compares to stamina, experience, and experimenting. Some of the smallest size men out there can out”love” the most well-hung men. Foreplay, communication, and the sexual act itself are what count. Whether a man is too small or too big, position changes make all the difference. Oh, and a man should never apologize for something he can’t control. Don’t even bring it up. Just prove yourself in the art of lovemaking and exert confidence.”
Bill (Yay. Finally, a guy weighs in!) – “The majority of sex is in the head, for both men and women. Don’t let your physical attributes become a hindrance to you. Period. Men with the penis issue and women with breast size and more. Nonsense. Sexy is a frame of mind. Sexy is self confidence.”
Monique – “hmph* I mean, I get what you’re saying, but I’m just saying – It’s like tryin’ to fit a square peg into a round hole. If it don’t work, it just don’t work. I’d like to say that size is no biggie (no pun intended) but I’d be lying. Sex is HUGE for me, and unless we’ve waited a very long time and I’ve already fallen head over heels in love with dude, if “it” ain’t there, I ain’t there. Hate to sound shallow but it is what it is. I don’t care how many positions you flip me up and around in or how much and how fabulous the cunnilingus is; if the only way that I know that you’re in the room is because I can see you…yeah…no. And I get that men have no control over that…neither do I. Square peg…round hole (still no pun intended). *lol*”
So the answer is, there really is no right or wrong answer to “does size matter”. It’s a situation dependent upon the individuals, the level of love and trust in the relationship, and the willingness to communicate needs and be confident and comfortable with your partner.
The only absolute take away from this very frank conversation is this; if you’re going to take a run at Monique, you better be packing! Seriously, she doesn’t make any bones about it.
As for the rest of us, performance and insecurity seemed to be the only real reason for being turned off in the boudoir. The two are linked. A secure man will do whatever it takes to please his lady. Most men are more than happy to take direction as it’s painfully obvious that women don’t come with a user manual. So the more open and communicative a woman is in bed, the better the sex will be. If it makes it easier, make it a game. Have him be your ‘love slave’ for the evening where he must do exactly as you instruct. Be honest about what you want him to do. I promise, he’ll remember those moves the next time, and the next.
As for penis size, remember that it’s the male equivalent of worrying about how fat you think you are when naked. Be kind as you would want him to be kind to you. Hey, if he has good hands and a willing tongue, make use of all the equipment!
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