I came from a broken family.
As the eldest of the seven,
I feel – not pressured, but – obliged.
Obliged to carry the responsibility of
our deceased father (step) and secure
the wellness of our ties.
Obliged to strengthen our bonds
and pursue living without fear of the future.
But in most family – there is
always someone who receives
more attention from the parents.
Someone who – somehow – entertains
their eyes better than the other siblings.
(I don’t suppose you’d be too defensive and
reprimand be about it! Peace out parents!)
I’m not a parent yet,
so the immensity of the commitment
doesn’t trouble my feelings at all.
Though – I know the feeling of being
discarded, rejected, and ignored.
I always aspire something – and,
desire a successful life for myself.
But my legitimate passion in life
doesn’t please them so… it came to the point that
my desires became the medium of my gap
between me and my parent.(in this case my mother)
They don’t want me doing things other than
what they think is best for me.
My bother otherwise – not that I hate him – receives
my parents blessing anything he wanted for himself.
I’m truly happy for my brother; all I want is that…
they’ll see me too and notice my potentials.
Even at the very LEAST.
Just a glimpse.
Just a drop of TRUST.
I know what I want for myself,
My passion is laid to me with clarity –
in a silver platter taunting me and
tame success and contentment for the
rest of my years.
I believe it with all my heart that
it feels like exploding from the inside out.
*Sigh. Thanks for reading.