How to Have a Healthy Breakup

A painful breakup can negatively or positively shape your future relationships. You may not have had much say-so about ending a relationship but you can decide how it will affect you. It is natural to feel sad or cry at the end of a romance, regardless of how long it lasted or who ended it. However, the ensuing sadness shouldn’t land you in the People’s Court or leave you feeling dejected. Regain your confidence and your dating mojo by having a healthy breakup.

Face the break up full on. It’s natural to want to take the easy way out; breaking up with a letter on a pillow or a perky text that says, “It’s over.” That’s no way to end it and it’s unfair to the other party. Say goodbyes in person and try to end the relationship on a positive note. If you didn’t initiate the break up, stay healthy by remaining as calm as possible.

Take emotional stock. Allow yourself to feel sad but keep it in context. The end of a relationship is the end of a possibility, not the end of the world. Avoid detachment but don’t grieve over a one-month romp. Be honest with yourself about how you feel but look for the silver lining. Don’t medicate yourself with alcohol or drugs to avoid feeling pain. This could lead to bigger problems and habits.

Do a memory inventory. Remember the positive moments of your relationship, like a time when you were spontaneous successfully. Mentally file those activities as keepers and bring them forward to new relationships. Make those fun memories your regular modus operandi. Enjoy the memories but in a health way, using them to remember good things about yourself, not just the other person.

Focus on yourself. Be good to yourself. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share some of the blame for the breakup but do focus on a positive recovery with healthy attention. Don’t go on a shopping spree to recover, go to the gym. Skip the rebound relationship. Set a firm timeline for getting back into the dating scene.

Talk to an honest friend. We all have friends that tell us what we want to hear. That may feel good but it isn’t healthy. Confide in an honest friend who will listen and advise you with some tough love. It’s healthy to ask questions but even healthier to expect honest answers. Seek the help of professional counselors if you’re having severe depression or unhealthy thoughts.

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