Relationship Advice for Men: The Importance of Cuddling “After”

Okay, you and the little woman have finished making love for the evening. You’ve had your fun; it’s all over (including the screaming), and your thoughts drift off to drifting off. You are warm and happy and satisfied and tired, and those are the perfect conditions to make you roll over like a beached whale and start snoring. The only problem is that your ladyfriend has other plans: She wants to cuddle, and maybe even talk! Why does a woman want to cuddle after sex? Why doesn’t she just want to sleep?

Allow me to explain. Gentlemen, we ladies are a little insecure, in case you hadn’t noticed. We see how much effort you put into us before you get sex: the after is also important, because that’s the part that is going to let us know you want to stick around after the conquest. If the conquest was the be-all and end-all, fine; and hopefully she understood that, but she is still going to want to visit a little. Most ladies do not get knocked out by sex. Indeed, even if we are physically tired, we are still pretty wound-up; after all, you must agree: it is exciting.

Yes, we sure can misinterpret things if you turn over and start sawing logs. To you, it’s because you just had mind-blowing sex and you feel all warm and comfy (not to mention exhausted, if you did it right), and you want to sleep precisely because you are so comfortable with her, correct? We don’t get that part. To us, we just gave you the key to the secret garden, and once you had a romp, you got, well, bored. And yes, you could explain all about the comfy, and we could nod and smile reassuringly; we might even say it’s totally okay, but don’t buy that brave face-it’s a load of crap, gentlemen. We will just end up lying awake, staring at your back, or the clock, or the ceiling, feeling abandoned. We just can’t help it.

So get up and splash some water on your face if you have to, but stay up for a little while. Cuddle and chat. At the very least, do not roll over; if you just can’t keep from passing out, make sure she is cuddled in your arms, in which case she will just think it’s cute that you struggled to stay up but succumbed eventually, in much the way your mom got warm fuzzies when she saw you asleep with your face in your schoolbooks, regardless of how much Nintendo you played before you got into that position. The upshot is this: Show some appreciation for the fact that she let you do it in the first place, and she is way more likely to let you do it again!

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