Seeing Green on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick’s day has always been a particularly fun holiday for me. I enjoy the ability to drink beer while paying homage to the patron saint of Ireland. I enjoy everything from green cookies to boisterous boasts of sensational drinking feats to be witnessed by the “Guinness People.” What always cracks me up is the memory of my son as a five year old during St. Patrick’s day 2001.

I remember that St. Patrick’s day 2001 fell on a Saturday so it was not really advisable to take the five year old out during a Saturday when the road would be full of drunks itching to cause some sort of commotion. I knew that there was some sort of substitute for that and I figured it out. I told my wife that we should make a nice dinner at home consisting of grilled steaks and other culinary delights. I embarked on an early morning journey to the grocery store and thought “Hey, let me get my son those green frosted cookies.”

When I arrived home I began to make the preparations for our meal. The first thing I did was disconnect my phone as I did not feel like inviting anyone or being regaled with tales of St. Patrick’s days passed and green beer to be consumed. I began drinking my Guinness beer and marinating the succulent steaks I had purchased. My son was around me through the process asking me if he could have a cookie and like any slightly unhinged father I responded by saying “yes my young offspring.” My son immediately decided he would eat two cookies much to his mother’s chagrin. Me and my family would consume our delicious meal and engage in a quiet afternoon repose by watching an animated classic, whose title currently escapes me. Our moment of quiet peace would alas be disturbed my a child’s scream.

My son ran into the living room looking like he had just seen a ghost. I asked what was wrong and in his adorable five year old voice he responded “I’m sick.” We probed him with pertinent questions that would yield no answers. My son finally responded by saying “my poop is green I’m very sick.” When I looked at the stool in question I could not help myself and I said to my son “It’s only the spirit of holiday son.” I later explained that it was just the green frosting as my previous response had left him frazzled, oh the memories.

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