I’m a pretty big supporter of co-sleeping, because I’m a big supporter of sleeping. I know some moms do just fine on 3-4 hours of sleep, but not me. Oh, no, I need a good solid 6-9 to not be all Oscar the grouch with boobs in the morning. While I don’t look down on those that opt to skip the shared bed experience, you’d be hard pressed to get a negative comment about co-sleeping from me-except one little thing-sex. There’s some twisted irony in the fact that sex creates babies, and babies destroy sex. Just having children delivers a pretty powerful blow to a couple’s sex life, but co-sleeping gives that assailant a bat and possibly a homemade rattle shiv. You have to get creative if you want your sex life to survive that kind of beating. So, what are your options…
Stiff as a board:
Some brave couples opt to just make sex quieter and less active so they can do It with Jr. right beside them. As humans have and still do share quarters with children their entire lives in many regions of the world for quite some time, naturally this is a harm free option. Though, personally, I could see this making sex less passionate and possibly a bit uncomfortable, but the option is there.
Find the time:
Another option is to re-think the when of your sex life. If your baby is in the bed at night, have sex at other times. Nap times are a great option or even consider a short term sitter. I had far more people willing to watch my baby for a few hours during the day than a full date night.
Getting tricky with it:
You could also wait until your baby is asleep and move to another room to do the deed. Many couples find this option adds a new spark to their love life, because they begin to have sex in new and exciting places.
Finding another bed:
I would sometimes intentionally lay with my baby on a couch or a bed on the floor until he fell asleep and then go to bed with my husband for those short hours until the baby woke up. You can use a crib or bassinet for this, but co-sleeping tends to train infants to go to sleep lying next to someone. Personally, I found my crib a waste of space when it wasn’t filled with clean laundry.
Drawing a line:
Finally, while all of the above are fine and dandy, I found it beneficial to my relationship and personal space sanity to wean my kids from co-sleeping for the most part after they were done breast feeding. They still sleep in our bed occasionally, but drawing a line someplace comfortable where co-sleeping ends may work well for you. It gives a sexually frustrated couple something to look forward to. As most American moms stop breastfeeding around the one year mark, this also eliminates the too-much-body-for-not-enough-bed syndrome, and eases the transition into sleeping in their own bed on your child.
How did you help your sex life survive co-sleeping?
You may also enjoy:
Is it OK to Have Sex In Front of Your Baby?
Causes of Low Libido After Pregnancy
Sex After Baby: How to Get Back in the Mood After a Pregnancy