Shop Class Instructor Describes Student’s Birdhouse as “House of Failure”

BOISE-Arnold Raftery, a 59-year-old shop class teacher at West Junior High, had no choice but to deem student Brian Hoying’s birdhouse “a house of failure” yesterday after Hoying handed in what he believed to be a sufficient birdhouse. “It’s got a roof,” he said vaguely pointing at the top-most piece of wood. “It doesn’t have a floor, because birds can fly. They don’t need floors, right?”

The stunned Raftery was left aghast. “For God’s sake, it’s 7th grade shop class. Even the kid with muscle dystrophy made something halfway decent. Birds are gonna look at this thing and say, ‘Are you serious?’ in their little bird language or whatever.”

Raftery spent several minutes deciding on how to describe Hoying’s project – he mulled over “House Of Lies” and “a steaming diarrhea dump” before settling on “House Of Failure.” “That’s being kind. Look at this pile of crap,” he said gesturing at the jumbled mess of cheap plywood and nails. Nonetheless, Hoying received a C for the class and learned exactly nothing the entire time while barely paying any attention.

“Hooray high school!” Hoying shouted enthusiastically. “Such a worthwhile experience! So much learning to be had. Glad I’m here.”

People also view

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *