The Best Quotes from “Psych” the TV Show Are Surprisingly Relevant

Somehow, The Best Quotes from Psych Grip Our Emotions. Why?

“Gus, don’t be your jury summons I accidentally threw away last month along with something called a W-2.” This quote from the TV show “Psych” got me laughing this evening, and it felt good to laugh after a long, stressful day. I love watching Shawn and Gus work their magic as psychic detectives. My husband and I do this often; unwind to our favorite show, laughing over the best quotes from Psych.

You will find forums, Twitter groups and Facebook pages all focused on best episodes, best scenes, and best quotes from Psych, because audiences love the creative art produced by Steve Franks and his Psych writing team.

So what is it, exactly, that makes the best quotes from Psych so cathartic? Each Psych quote feels like the best medicine after dealing with “real life.” For example, when Lt. Lassiter, the head detective on Psych, says “We found prints,” you just know something ridiculous will follow. Shawn: “Was he in a “Little Red Corvette”?” Gus: “Or ‘Under the Cherry Moon’?” Lt. Lassiter: “We found finger-prints!” (One of the best quotes from Psych!)

According to Dr. Paul McGhee (author of Humor: The Lighter Path to Resilience and Health), “Humor overcomes the law of psychological gravity….This law says that people become heavier when they’re under stress.” (pg 23)

The humor used in the best psych quotes transport us from our burdened world of stress, bringing us into a lighter, dream-state; cleansing us from the physiological effects of our burdens; allowing us to feel at our best.

Shawn : “I’ve been having this recurring dream where I’m flying over Auckland, on the back of a swan made primarily of cocoa. His name is Clem.” – A Profound Psych Quote.

The Best Quotes from Psych Have Ego-Boosting Qualities

Think about it: When a toddler is shy and scared at a doctor’s office, what’s the best way to get her laughing? Normally it’s a doctor who “plays dumb” to make the child feel smart and secure. The same technique is used throughout Psych’s top quotes.

[Scene: Planetarium]

Shawn : Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. [Dramatic intro music.] I will be your narrator. My name is Aurora Borealis. There are over 400 stars in our galaxy, maybe more. No one knows for sure. Many have said that the universe is even larger than the Indian Ocean. And that is why it is called “Infinitum Star-Octo-Pusium.” Ah, yes: Our glorious constellations. There they all are. Take a look. Over here we have one with a guy…holding some sort of thing. Over here, our beloved Olympic rings; all seven of them. And here…here’s one with a fish.
* * * * * * * * * *

[Scene: Spelling Bee. Shawn is filling-in for the missing Spell Master while searching for evidence.]

Shawn : Gus, give me a word.

Gus : A word?

Shawn : Yeah, something hard but something you could spell.

Gus : I could spell anything.

[…They clash. Gus refuses. Shawn returns to the microphone.]

Shawn : Banana

Girl Contestant : …Can you repeat that?

Shawn : Yes. Ba-NA-na.

Girl : …Definition please?

Shawn : [exasperated] A yellow fruit. Also, a kind of pudding. A delicious pudding.

Girl : Sentence please?

Shawn : Anna-banana would like to hear Venis by Bananarama. …Banana.
* * * * * * * * * *

The Best Psych Quotes Often Deal with Personal Identity

We all struggle with self-esteem. After a long day of work, striving at each step, giving our best shot to gain identity, earn respect, and merit promotion; it just feels good to see this rat-race depicted in a lighthearted way as we see in the best quotes from Psych.

Gus : How should we introduce ourselves? Don’t say “psychic.” They’ll shut you off. Pick something vague, like “Alternative Tactics Division.”

Shawn : How about “The Bureau of Magic and Spell Casting”?
* * * * * * * * * *

Shawn : [to Lassiter] If this is some sort of hazing ritual where we’re going to end up naked in a river somewhere, I’ll need to arrange for a ride home.
* * * * * * * * * *

Gus : I’m a man of untold mystery. That’s why my friends call me “G.”

Shawn : Ha. That’s funny. I thought they called you “Big-Head Burton.”

Gus : Don’t ever say that name, Shawn. Besides, I know it was you who started that.

Shawn : I’m sorry, Gus; I have a knack for alliteration. I’m a slave to it. Besides, how many words start with a B?

Gus : About a thousand! You could have used, “bold, black, beautiful…”

Shawn : Dude, who would have called you “Black Burton”?
* * * * * * * * * *

Gus’s Secretary : There’s a “Lieutenant Crunch” here to see you sir.
Gus: “Lieutenant Crunch”?
Shawn: Actually I’ve been promoted. It’s “Caption Crunch” now.
* * * * * * * * * *

The Best Psych Quotes Always Play on Words

Great comedy writers know that the best way to get their audience laughing is to twist words, because we’ve all had those awkward moments when we slip up and say the wrong thing. These Psych quotes do just that.

Shawn : Goooodmorning detectives. Collecting donations for the Policemen’s Ball?

Lassiter : We don’t have “Balls.”

Shawn : I honestly have no response to that.
* * * * * * * * * *

Shawn : “My pilot’s license? It’s out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you’re referring to my license to kill? Revoked. Problems at the Kazakhstan border. I’d give you the details, but then I’d have to kill you… which I can’t do because my license to kill has been revoked.”
* * * * * * * * * *

The Best Quotes from Psych Deal with Real Fears

We might be embarrassed by our fears, but truth be told, we all struggle with them – even the best of us. These quotes from Psych capture the emotions of fear, with the best twist of humor to lighten the reality.

Henry : Shawn never really was one for roughing it. We went camping once. Found him curled up in his sleeping bag because a raccoon was hunting him.
Shawn: Stalking me. The raccoon was stalking me, Dad.
* * * * * * * * * *

[Scene: A farmer is shooting at Shawn and Gus. Gus is now speeding backwards in his blue Echo.]

Shawn : Dude, look at the road when you’re driving!

Gus : I’m staying down, for safety.

Shawn : He was shooting directly in the air, Gus.

Gus : Bullets go up; they have to come down.

Shawn : Do you know what the trajectory would have to be for that to happen?

Gus : Don’t you dare argue figures with me. Not when the process involves being killed.
* * * * * * * * * *

Gus : [Very serious as he reveals his fear.] It was late. I was in my room with the lights off. I heard a voice.

Shawn : Gus, I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation…

Gus : No, no. No, Shawn. It wasn’t on TV; and it wasn’t a radio. It was coming from the walls. And the voice…the voice told me that our house is built on old Indian burial grounds. And she said she was sad because she died many moons ago and was trapped between worlds. When I asked her her name, Shawn, she said… “My name – “

Shawn : “- is Wilting Flower.” [Speaking in a feeble, female voice.] “I died, without knowing love. Will you be my friend?”

Gus : How…how did you know that?
* * * * * * * * * *

[Scene: Video Technician is pounding at the locked door. Gus and Shawn are trapped, and panicked.]

Shawn : [to Gus] Plan A or plan B?

Gus : B

[Technician bursts through the door to find Gus drooped lifeless in a chair. Shawn stands over Gus, looking aghast.]

Shawn : Oh my God, I killed him! [Shawn runs out in a panic.]

[Lifeless Gus suddenly jumps up and runs after Shawn.]
* * * * * * * * * *

The Best Psych Quotes Must Have that Visual Aspect

This Psych quote has the best comic quality when paired with James Roday and Dulé Hill’s acting skills. It creates actions which are completely outside the “norm” of our reality, making our present reality seem trivial.

[Scene: Gus watches Shawn through a security camera.]

Gus : I saw that. Got it on two angles…Do you wanna give this up any time soon?…You’re crawling…I see you Shawn. You’re behind the plant…See you there. See you there…The plant is moving across the room, Shawn…Leave that poor lady alone, Shawn…You’re using the carpet? Really? Wait a minute, I almost bought that for a second…You’re using the wolf pelt?…This is like watching Entrapment, but instead of watching Catherine Zeta-Jones, they have some guy with a pancake butt.
* * * * * * * * * *

Lastly, The Best Quotes from Psych Capture the Complex Frustrations of Friendship

True friendship comes with a cost. When we allow ourselves to really invest in others, we carry an emotional weight. We want the best for our closest friends, no matter the cost. These quotes from Psych capture this depth with a humor that makes it all seem like child’s play.

[Scene: At Gus’s Pharmaceutical Office, after Shawn and Gus have had a fight.]

Gus : Alright. But you asked for it.

Shawn : Asked for what?

[Gus grabs Shawn around the waist and tries to carry him. Shawn struggles, then goes limp.]

Gus : Don’t you dare go boneless on me, Shawn!

[Gus proceeds to carry, then pull, then drag limp-Shawn down the hall.]
* * * * * * * * * *

Shawn : “Luckily, your phone has GPS.”
Gus: “You tracked me?!”
Shawn: “Yes, I did, with a little help from my friends at your wireless service provider. By the way, they might be calling; they think you’re a fugitive from justice. Run with it.”
* * * * * * * * * *

[Scene: Juliet and Shawn sit together after an emotional case. Juliet struggles with the point of it all.]

Shawn : The next “crazy” is going to be small potatoes compared to Yin. And plus, you have me now. I know I may not appear that opposing at first blush, but I have the tenacity of a Swiss fox, with the instincts of a dragonfly.

Juliet : You realize one of those is a rabbit and the other is…an insect?

Shawn : Yes. That’s why I chose them. [Shawn and Juliet hold hands.] What I’m trying to tell you is that I would protect you.

Juliet : And I would protect you right back.

Shawn : …I think you’re swell.
* * * * * * * * * *

In the end, the best Psych quotes are all about poking lighthearted-fun at the deeper issues we face each day. And ultimately, Psych helps us to carry on with a smile.


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