Distrust

Is the statement “She doesn’t trust anyone because she can’t be trusted” true? Or is it possible that most women endure so much dishonesty that they become on edge if they suspect their partner is being untruthful leading them to question their partners actions or where a bout’s?

I have found that many women that have been betrayed find it very difficult to trust their partners, even if their current partners are not being deceitful, it’s in their minds that possibly it’s bound to happen since it’s happened so many times before.

It’s too hard for them to let their guard down and accept that this partner is being absolutely honest in his actions and words. I have spoken to several women that have never had multiple partners, have always been loyal and yet everything about them is leery of their partner.

So, my conclusion is that once you have been betrayed, it stays deeply embedded in your brain that possibly the relationship you are in will end up the way the other relationships have.

Does your partner always analyze every situation making you feel you are under the magnifying glass? Does your partner break down your conversations into something completely different than what you meant? Does your partner always assume you are attracted to someone that you are not attracted to, only because you once loved someone that looked like that? Does your partner call you private number or your place of business daily to make sure you are at work or to find out where you are by listening to the back ground? Do you ever find that your online pages such as F.B., Google+, Twitter or other online pages are being stalked because your partner reads a status and assumes you are unfaithful? Does your partner assume that every person is flirting with you or interested in you? Do you purposely hide unnecessary things from your partner for the fear of being interrogated or accused of being unfaithful?

Then, you can bet that your partner has some issues with trust and relationships. Possibly before moving forward if it is a new relationship, or even if you are already married or committed to your partner, you should sit down and talk about all the issues that you are concerned about.

When a person has been betrayed and didn’t realize the betrayal was taking place, they feel they missed something somewhere along the way. They feel they let their guard down and allowed the action to take place. Or that something must have been wrong with them, not realizing that most people that betray another person have their own internal issues and it has nothing to do with who you are as a person.

I’ve been acquainted with many wonderful individuals that have gone through some horrible betrayal that will start to pin point things about themselves that they feel may have led the other party to betray them, and they carry those insecurities over to the next relationship and the next and the next. I say next and next only because they seem to sabotage each and every relationship with this harsh “private investigator” personality they have grown to administer to each partner.

Yes, mistrust is something we all have, only because when you are unfamiliar with someone or do not know them enough to completely trust them, this is natural. But to distrust someone that has never betrayed you is an illness.

If you find that you carry these characteristics and are concerned that you continue to ruin each relationship that you are involved in because you become your partner’s “parole officer”, then please get help. A relationship should not be based on past situations, or speculations of someone.

A relationship should be fun, and you should be able to enjoy your time as well as your partner enjoy his time without feeling that possibly if you are apart the other person is up to no good or that you can’t separate from each other at any time or your partner might be doing something inappropriate.

I can say that the statement “She doesn’t trust anyone because she can’t be trusted”, is not factual. If a woman doesn’t trust someone it’s probably because at one point in her life, she loved someone that completely betrayed her and tainted her mind, leaving her insecure.

Love this person, embrace her, and talk to her about her actions so that they can be brought to surface because it is possible that your partner doesn’t know they are reacting in this manner. Try your best to be compassionate to her. Advise your partner to get professional help and if this doesn’t solve anything and you are unable to handle this kind of behavior then end it.

Relationships should be based on an equal reciprocation, rather than an interrogation.


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