Friends or Enemies
When we think of enemies the first thing that comes to my mind is Iraq and North Korea countries that dislike us for one reason or anther. While going to school and taking History it always taught to us that Japan during Pearl Harbor was our enemy. The reason I always came to that conclusion was that they hated us for the freedom we have. So when I think of enemies the word that comes to my mind is hate. Even when married couples get divorced I never hear them say he or she is my enemy, you hear them say I really hate him or her for what he did to me.
So when we try and say that a friend is our enemy I don’t really believe that, I think this means they hate this person for one reason or another.
Quoting the dictionary enemy means “one who is unfriendly.”
Let me tell you about a little trip I took this fall with five of my friends. We were all excited as we started our trip to Dollywood in Tennessee. We had this wonderful condo in Gatlinburg to stay in when we arrived. The girls made homemade cookies and desserts and many other homemade bake goods. We talked about some of things we would be doing when we arrived in Tennessee. Half way to our destination Cindy received a phone call from her daughter, Linda, who was looking after her father while Cindy was away on this trip. Cindy’s husband Steve has the beginnings of dementia, as they were talking Lindsey informed Cindy that Steve had a hundred dollars. Well needless to say she was furious because she was missing money and knew he had taken it from her wallet. When she got off the phone with Linda we heard her begin to scream,” I hate him! I know he took the money! He is trying to drive me crazy! I hate that SOB.”
Cindy made it clear that she hated her husband, but after watching that little show she blew us all away, especially when she kept saying that she would kill him. Cindy is a nurse and has a good educational background, so to see her acting the way she did left us all wondering what was really going on , did she hate Steve or the disease that was causing him to do unusual things. We talked to her about some of the options that were out there for her. She did not want to hear them, the bottom line for her was getting her daughter thru college and making sure he would not get any of her retirement that she worked so hard for.
She called it her five year plan and there is three years left on this so called plan. We all wondered if she would survive her own plan. I guess she figured that because Steve was twenty years older than her that she would out live him.
It’s been twelve hours and we made it to Tennessee, some of us sleepy and the others excited to be going to the flea market this morning that opens at eight o clock.
Our first stop was to Elaine’s house, Marge’s mother, she knew we would be in early so she had prepared breakfast for all of us, and then took us all to the flea market to shop. We knew we had plenty of time because we could not get into our condo until four in the afternoon.
Everyone appreciated Elaine’s efforts to make the meal except for Cindy who complained through out the meal. Cindy wanted to go out and eat. It made us all uncomfortable, being that Elaine was so looking forward to making the breakfast for all of us. All of us were grateful for the hospitality except for Cindy. By eating breakfast there it gave Marge a chance to visit with her mother who is in her seventies and who she doesn’t have the chance to travel as often as she would like.
We arrived at the condo, tired and all in need of a shower. We were happy to be there. It took all the energy we had to get three baggage carts of luggage up to our room.
Every one of us is different. One is manic depressive; one is always happy and sees no bad in anything anyone does, one is always negative about everything and the other three just happy and wanting to have a good time.
After a good night sleep and a shower we were up and ready for shopping. We brought back a van load on the first day. I was wondering if we were to shop like this everyday where would we put it all on the way home. That evening when we got back we all went up stairs to buy our tickets for some of the attractions in the area, we got tickets to Dollywood for two days and then we would spend a day going thru the Smokey Mountains and to shows.
Of course not everyone would want to do the same thing so that made for some problems up the road. Sue having manic depression and having worked at our local country radio station had a hard time listening to country music, being that she got a raw deal from the radio station. Cindy’s criticism about Sue’s phobia of county music said to her,” why would you come to Dollywood if you don’t like country music” Sue just wanted to be away from home and enjoy the fresh mountain air. This whole story is that six of us friends that went on this trip and looked forward to this for a whole year and because of one person, it made two out of the six friends enemies. Sue would come to me and complain about Cindy and then Cindy would come to me and Complain about Sue and then make fun of Cheri because she was always so positive. I was beside myself wondering what to do! These were my friends and I came here to have a good time not be the person they could all come to and complain to, it made the trip for me very stressful.
Knowing that these women could not see what each other was going thru and having no compassion for one another it made me very upset, I love all of them deeply and it left me felling so sad for both of them, one because Cindy has so much hate in her heart that she couldn’t find happiness in anything or anybody, and Sue because she is sick with an illness that none of us will never understand. I don’t have enemies because I refuse to carry hate in my heart towards anyone. Cindy once asked me why I even bother to talk to my mother after she had left us as kids when we were young and I told her it’s because she is my mother and I will always love her, I can’t judge her for what she did, she had her reasons. I know that the two of them will never be the same again. My wish for them is that someday they will be able to find happiness again and love in their hearts not only for themselves but for others as well. For in the end your greatest enemy is yourself, and in this case Cindy is her greatest enemy because of her discontent and criticisms. Remember not the word of our enemies, for hate is the word for our enemies. And love is the word for our friends.
JoAnn L. Bills 2005(Bills, 2005)