The movie “What’s Your Number” asks the question: how many sexual partners makes you unattractive for marriage? In the beginning of the movie the agreed upon magic number is 20. If you have slept with 20 or more people, no one will consider marrying you one day. The premise of this move made me wonder if marriage is a numbers game, or are we in it for true love? Learn what a guys take on your number of partners and if you are truly out of the running for getting married.
What is your number?
Is your number 1, 7, or 72? When we have a low number, from long-term relationships or marriage, and we begin dating, again we may feel that we don’t have the experience that a more mature dating scene is looking for. While if your number is too high you may come across as easy, thus making you unattractive to someone looking for the “one”. Your number is personal, but it always comes up in relationship talks. While not everyone tells the truth about his or her number, it can make a difference when initially beginning a relationship.
Do numbers matter in the 21st century?
The sexual liberation of women in the 1960’s occurred due to a change in cultural values, and of course “the pill”. Sexual experiences were no longer to just please the man and procreate, but as a form of self-expression and adventurism. With the number of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) running rampant, your number could hold some merit at the beginning of a relationship. As your number increases, so do your chances of an STI, or even HIV and men know this. Even with safe sex practices, infections can still happen. We may feel hesitant when dating someone with a high number due to disease and the fear of feeling judged or inadequate. A quick STI and HIV test can quickly quell any doubts.
Feeling judged or inadequate is a huge ego blow to almost any average man, and even some very confident men. However, as a relationship progresses, it is not merely a numbers game. In a relationship, sex is not about the lust, but rather love and togetherness. Before you stop reading and assume this article has gone “mushy”, the point of the previous statement is that we don’t think or care about your number when we are involved in a long-term relationship. It may provide a barrier when initially dating or beginning a relationship, but the barrier drops when we realize what we are really looking for.
What are we really looking for?
The goal of a long-term relationship or marriage is to find someone that we connect with on an emotional level, as well as physical. Sex is just one cog of the relationship machine. Your number is not a deal maker or breaker if you meet our other parameters for a relationship. This includes making us feel good about ourselves, making us laugh and making us enjoy your company. Learn from your experience or lack thereof and begin a relationship not based on numbers, but based on compatibility.