How to Get Along with Your Mother-in-Law

1. Do not ask when she got out of rehab 2. Do not ask her to move to a studier chair 3. Do not say ” I haven’t seen a dress like that since the fifties.” 4. Do not ask ” So do you really have a dead puppy collection?” 5. So not ask to borrow her broom to ride home 6. Do not ask, “Have you all considered family therapy?” 7. Do not say when she makes a surprise visit, ” Are all the bars closed today?” 8. Do not say, ” I never thought Spandex could stretch that much, but on you it looks good.” 9. Do not say ” Your husband says Home Improvement means you moved out.” 10. Do not yell, “Hide the kids, your mother is here.” 11. Do not ask “Who does your make-up, Shreck?” 12. Do not say “We chilled the Ripple just for you.” 13. Do not say “Gosh, I don’t know why your husband would dink so much.” 14. Do not say, “Does the museum know a mummy is missing.” 15. Do not say ” Beauty mark? Looks like a wart to me.”