Halloween Is Over And Pumpkin Faces Cry
I walk through the frosty dew leaving footprints behind me…it’s just getting daylight and a cool breeze nips at my bones…the left over carved pumpkins sit idly on lonely porches as though they are sad to see Halloween is over. Skeletons and black bats hang in trees like they’re waiting for another night of trick or treat and witches with black hats stand in the edges of cornfields like their laughing at me and looking for their riding brooms.
A feeling of sadness’ overcomes me as I remember well the beauty of his rugged face and his strong arms encircling my waist as we danced our last dance together last night. Our hearts were hurting and our love was purer than llife itself. Dan’s family is moving to Chicago, which is miles from here, and I’ll probably never see him again. Ours has been a special love since this last year of high school. It was actually a love at first sight when he asked me to dance at the beginning of the school year. We grew only closer with each date and we found ourselves so in love, it was like electricity sending sparks all around us when we were together…it was as if we breathed as one. We knew we had college and work facing both of us but we confided our love to each other for a lifetime.
Dan’s planning to take a 4 year engineering course at one of the major universities in Illinois. He’ll have to find a job to help pay for his college education and we both realize it’s going to be hard to see each other. We’ve made plans to see each other as often as possible, but I’ve had this feeling in my heart, I’ll never see him very much in the future. We’ve both shed our tears and we’ve both suffered broken hearts over our separations. I’m also leaving the area to go to work in New York City for a law firm and the area and job will be a challenge for me too.
This mornings walk is with the intent of clearing the hurt and pain I’m feeling and relieving some of the sadness in my soul today. I’ve asked myself a million times, “how will I be able to make it in a far off city and without Dan’s love to cheer me on day after day? I kick at the frosty grass and feel hurt by the world that’s going to keep us apart. Letters are written in words spoken from a lover’s heart but hugs and kisses cannot be felt through paper…it’s just not the same. Kicking the grass with large tears flowing down my cheeks, and thinking, “let me make it through the day and night.”
A sense of total loss is what I feel as I look over to see a carved pumpkin’s face sitting alone on a porch… shrunken with carved tears running down its face. The intense heat from its hot candle has caused the face to become smoky with a distorted and contorted look on its face as it cries. Who could have carved this face? It matches exactly how my heart and soul feels right now…scarred and distorted.
I stand, look at the face for awhile, and the more I stare at it, the more tears run down my face to settle on my jacket. “How can love hurt so bad, I ask myself?” “I’m young and I have a long time to live with a broken heart…will I ever make it?
Why is life so painful and tortuous?”
My walk to clear my mind has only caused me to feel all the more pain, and as I look up, I see a carved pumpkin with a large grin on its face sitting on a fence post, and I take it as an omen of positive vibes of a survival in my future. I wipe away the tears and walk toward the house waiting to receive my first love letter.