Real-Life Zombies Thrive on the Uninformed

The secret is out. Even with utmost effort by government scientists, the evidence has leaked into the general population. Zombies, it appears, are real. Not the Hollywood version of staggering creatures of decay, but real life entities that have the same goal – they want to eat your brains.

President George H.W. Bush was the first to leak this information when he publicly used the term, voodoo economics. His advisors cringed, the CIA swooned, and the cover up that rivaled the hiding of aliens in Area 51 began to unravel.

Let me point out some of the zombies that are passing for real people. They’re all public figures, so I can use their names. They’re easy to identify, unless of course, you’ve already been attacked and sucked into their world. They prey on the misinformed and the under informed and use several techniques to eat your brains.

Take for example, the former Fox network faux politico, Glenn Beck. He sounds believable and passionate and uses some of the best made up facts around. Precedent was set for his kind of journalism by a series of psychological experiments in the 1970’s involving fake lectures by the “expert,” Dr. Myron L. Fox, to test reactions of an educated audience to a presenter who was sincere, professional, and passionate.

If you find yourself yelling “Yes!” at the screen when Beck talks, then his zombie influence has already eaten your brain. Don’t drive or operate heavy machinery until we can give you an antidote.

Sarah Palin is another example of zombie presence. She’s high on the Dr. Fox scale, easy to look at and entertaining to listen to. But that “Mama Grizzly” doesn’t have maternal interests in mind; she wants to tear the top of your head off and eat your tasty gray matter. When that happens, it’s hard for you to “refudiate” her outrageous statements.

Zombies aren’t limited to political figures; they have seeped into literature and entertainment e.g “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” and “The Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide” and, of course, there’s zombie wannabes, like Lady Gaga.

She’s riding the zombie wave with her meat dresses and her “trying too hard” effort of referring to her fans as “little monsters.” Not really a zombie, just a savvy marketer laughing all the way to the bank.

No laughing matter, however, are the super zombies: Al-Qaeda, the Taliban and the hate mongering military funeral protest group, the Westboro Baptist Church.

So what does all this mean? Are you furious that I pointed out people who may have crossed all lines of sanity? I hope so; it’s you furious people who are our hope. You still have brains to agree or disagree based on processing instead of blind obedience and acceptance of information. You can inoculate yourself against further attacks by consuming massive amounts of facts.

Read and watch things on the far left, things on the far right, and everything in the middle. Become a well-rounded and informed consumer, never drink too long from the same well of information.

For absolute protection, get thee to a library! They are loaded with facts and are well known to be zombie kryptonite. In case of an attack, hold up an encyclopedia and watch them liquefy and seep into the sewers from whence they came. If you need help finding facts, ask a librarian; they have super powers to protect people from the zombie agenda.

The fate of the free world is at hand. Fortify yourself; take a massive dose of facts for protection against the zombie hoards. Facts and information will always prevail to protect our cherished free will and decision making over the zombie propaganda war.

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