Most women have a lot of compassion for any wife whose husband cheats. Being married to a cheating husband is always hell – but being married to a cheating husband whose adultery is splashed across the world’s media because he has a role in a Hollywod comedy must be particularly hellish.
Moore and Kutcher have been married for six years and young Ashton’s infidelity with wanabee-rich, wanabee famous Sarah Teal is reportedly not the first time he has cheated his wife.
The couple are reported to have gone camping in an effort to reconnect with one another and save their marriage. Why a couple of days round a campfire would help them reconcile is anyone’s guess – but they’re Hollywood people after all.
The real problem in this particular marriage, though, isn’t a lack of meat grilled on a barbecue or an unmet need to sleep under canvas. It’s the age gap between Moore and Kutcher, plain and simple.
Moore does not meet the stereotype of the neglectful wife whose husband is driven to look outside the marriage for love, sex and attention. She’s a good-looking woman who has done everything possible to retain her looks and figure and stave off the outward appearance of aging. One suspects she is good to her husband and has also significantly helped his TV and film career. Kutcher is about as wooden an actor as Hollywood could put on screen and yet the guy gets film roles. His new role in the sitcom show “Two and a Half Men” – failing without its star character acted by Charlie Sheen – may have encouraged him to consider his youth, wild side and sex life. Ashton, in short, is fed up with being married and fed up with Demi.
That’s hardly surprising. Kutcher’s a young man in his thirties whose hormones will be through the roof, like any guy his age. Given that he’s a Hollywood actor, has a certain amount of fame and millions of dollars, young Ashton is well aware that he has endless opportunity to have sex with girls far younger than Ms Moore. That’s the kind of opportunity that instinctively interests young men. He’ll be experiencing a biological drive, as well as social pressure from people his age (older men too), to play the field. In his mind, why would he restrict his experience of life and his sexual experience to one woman whom he’s already bedded for years? Especially when she’s so much older than him.
People who say that age doesn’t matter in relationships are, sadly, just kidding themselves. In an ideal world, true love would take no account of age perhaps. But we don’t live in that world. Demi Moore is pushing 50 and has had her children and raised them. Kutcher is in his 30s, isn’t a father yet and hasn’t done any parenting apart from step-parenting, which is not the same. Just as important in the younger man-older woman equation is this: Ashton is going to go on wanting a sex life for at least another 30 years. It’s highly unlikely that the same can be said of Demi Moore. And while a young man may feel flattered that an older woman wants him, that pleasure will soon enough be outweighed by the lure of the pneumatic young blondes, redheads and brunettes on tap for Hollywood actors. Before long, as Kutcher approaches 40 and Moore approaches 60, Demi must know that her appeal will grow less and less even if Ashton were to try and stay in the marriage. Wealthy forty-year-old men with many sexual options simply don’t want to be married to women nearing sixty.
The infidelity and breakdown of the marriage is a tragey for Demi Moore, there’s no doubt about that. It will be one of the most painful experiences of her life and she will need time to recover from the divorce, when it happens. But she should really cut her losses in the marriage and get the divorce behind her as soon as possible. Staying married to Kutcher will only bring more heartache and humiliation. His path in life is diverging from hers. He’ll have other relationships and will probably remarry and have children at some point. Demi needs to rebuild her life without him. She’s lost masses of weight on what most of us women call the “divorce diet” – ie. you just can’t eat when your heart is breaking. Her health is suffering and her morale must be in poor shape.
She can overcome this breakup – she and Bruce WIllis handled their divorce pretty well – and in time she can find an older guy who’ll be kind to her and respect her. But she does need to understand that the marriage with Kutcher is not her future. Each of them have separate paths to follow now. Hanging onto the marriage and hanging on to a cheating husband are not her best options. She can rebuild her life without him. And turn her back on him, his infidelity, the marriage which he has destroyed and the dramatic weight loss which poses a risk to her health. Good luck Demi. But don’t delay that divorce any longer.