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Can I get some more pun jokes

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“Some resist having the ‘flu jab but it’s quite innocuous.” [ Source: http://www.chacha.com/question/can-i-get-some-more-pun-jokes ]
More Answers to “Can I get some more pun jokes
What are some of your favorite puns and in-game jokes you got to …?
We definitely enjoyed throwing in ‘80s lingo here and there. We actually had to look some up since many of us have forgotten the ‘80s culture like a bad dream. I’m just sad we couldn’t throw in ‘80s fashion and music in the game, but that m…

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Got any funny jokes rr puns?
Q: heyyy…i need a couple of jokes rr puns fur my homework on friday.got anyy fur mee?plzzz.haha.nd they actually have to be funny!like where people wld get it nd laughh.ha.nd can yu try to find some tht rr like george lopez kind of jokes…cuz everyone seems to laugh nd like those..including meee! =Dhahaha,nd one more thinggg…they need to be appropriate fur 8th grade.so my teacher said to try nd keep it PG.thnxxxx everyoneee!best jokee rr pun gets best answerr! (:
A: Puns: The untruthful deli clerk was full of baloney.The cook was toast.The pencil sharperner is over there. What’s your point?Get them?
what is a soul? why do i have the ability to make random strangers open there mouths? no pun i assure you.?
Q: I dont know who to ask this question and have been wondering. I’ll need someone one who is wise to answer this. i have noticed lately that i have the ability to make people open there mouths while driving past them on the road. Again no pun or dirty joke. i can do is alot more to women than I can men. I’m not big headed or anything but i can do it when I pass some one dancing just the slightest even nothing major or anything thinking in my head that i am the coolest thing to hit the street around ever. (im not big headed just stating the facts that i need n answer to) they like take a big breath in and suck it up. Are they receiving my soul? I have also noticed myself just randomly open my mouth and then i look around all the sudden and i see a like midnight black vette or something pass me. was that is confidence that tried to get into my soul? ive learned to shut my mouth and quickly blow it out when i do that. ok my name is Joshua and i have wrote my question now i need some answers. thank you for your time to read this.
A: It’s just part of the human condition. It’s no special power of yours. It’s called a sympathetic response. You yawn and someone sees it and they yawn too. Some are more susceptible than others. Perhaps because contagious yawning may be based on a person’s capacity for empathy.Certain cultures ascribe superstitions to the act of yawning. The most common of these is the belief that it is necessary to cover one’s mouth when one is yawning in order to prevent one’s soul from escaping the body.
Can someone tell me if he is at least bisexual?
Q: so i’m a guy and i’ve considered myself straight all my life–i’ve always had crushes on girls and never really even considered a relationship with a man. that being said i’m now a senior in high school and the last time i had a legitimate guy friend that i actually hung out with and could have a real conversation with was probably back in 8th grade. as you can tell i have mainly friends that just so happen to be girls; and for the most part i only would hang out with one or two at a time (or in other words since eighth grade i haven’t hung out in large groups–i’ve had 1 or two best friends that i hung out with and everyone else was an acquaintance). at the end of last year though i started hanging out with a larger group of girls and at the beginning of this year our group grew to a substantial number; and as such one of the girls i hung out with one day brought a guy to hang out with us–that guy and i are pretty close friends as of now. when she first brought him over to our group the first thing i thought was “damn he’s hot!” so anyway now that i’ve come to realize that i’m bisexual and have a crush on him i need to know if he is as well, so here’s some more reading for you to do (ha-ha sorry):anyway one day one of the girls in our group was talking and said “i want to add a gay guy to our group” and they guy and i automatically put our arms around each other ad said “uhh hello ladies?” as if to insinuate that we were… anyway everyone laughed and she asked us if we were serious–i said, “no,” and he said, “well if frank (we’ll pretend that’s my name for now) were gay i’d go gay for him,” in a semi-joking manner; and i was slightly confused as to whether he was serious or not, but let it go anyway. then another time he was having a serious conversation (not stern, he just wasn’t joking around) with one of the girls and said, in so many words, that if he were in a relationship with a girl and found out that she was a guy (in other words a transexual), or if that girl decided to become a guy (obviously she can’t grow a penis, but let’s not get into too many details), and they in their original relationship had a good emotional connection, that he would stay with him or her…a lot of the time we pull more of those gay jokes on each other or really our friends (like the one above–“hello ladies”– and that kind of stuff)and he doesn’t act feminine at all he pretty much seems like your average guy–he has a pretty deep voice and all.but at the same time we’re really good friends and not many guys actually hang out with me because well i don’t usually know how to hang out with them because i’m usually surrounded by all females, and i’ve had 3 sisters and no brothers my entire life so i don’t really know how to act around guys–it’s kind of like their alien to me (although in elementary and middle school i had only guy friends), but you know what i meanso why would he actually want or be able to hang out with me when every other guy pretty much doesn’t, on my behalf.anyway so my question is i want to know if anyone thinks he could be at least bisexual (i know he likes girls), because he’s the only guy i’ve ever had a crush on but it’s a HUGE crush, no pun intended; but at the same time i don’t want to go up to him and ask him, much less tell him how i feel, because we are really good friends and if i can’t have him as more than a friend i at least want to keep his friendship, but it would make things very awkward if he wasn’t.(sorry, i know i can ramble like a mad man)
A: I think you explained yourself very well, indeed. It’s really hard to tell sometimes if a person is attracted to you personally, as in they think you are a nice person with a great personality and things in common, or they may think that AND that you’re a total hottie and not know how you might take it. This sounds like you and your new friend. If I was in your position, I would just continue to be good friends with him and see where life takes you. It appears like he may have been just hamming it up with the girls, but he may also have this little hidden part of him that gets excited thinking that he may be desirable to other guys as well. You will never know, if he doesn’t come right out with it. You will never know, either, unless something happens for you to open the door for it. I know a lot of very cool and open straight guys who would never have sex with another one, but would be open to discussing it and befriending the person, regardless of their sexuality. I have to admit that there are not many of them around, but your new friend could just be a very cool person. He may already have an inkling of your crush on him and that’s just fine. So, after all of this, just remember to be you and open in your friendship with him. You could also use a bit a time together away from the girls. If you two hang out by yourselves, he may be more apt to open up to you and you to him. I hope that you can cross that bridge sometime soon. It’s awful to have that kind of crush and it just be a fantasy. I have a feeling that you may indeed find out soon. Just be his friend and be there for him as any friend would. Hopefully, that friendship will blossom into more than that.Good luck,Bret
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