How do you grieve the loss of someone who sits across the table from you and sleeps beside you every night?

Q:I love my husband, but because of his illness and depression, our relationship is platonic. Not my idea, he’s just overwhelmed. The doctors say there is no physical limitation. He’s seen two counselors who think he’s making progress. Once every year or so, doesn’t seem like progress to me.I won’t be unfaithful, but I am lonely. And I honestly don’t know what to do about that.How do you decrease or redirect that drive?I really hate feeling like this, and I have no idea what to do.The marriage I hoped for is no longer a possibility. How do I grieve it and move on with my husband without dying inside? How can you make yourself honestly okay with something you would never choose?I find myself just shutting down, and I don’t want to do that. But when I’m open and vulnerable I end up angry with him and I cry a lot. I know that just makes him feel guilty on top of his depression, and I hate that.What makes the loneliness go away?
More Answers to “How do you grieve the loss of someone who sits across the table from you and sleeps beside you every night?
I am sorry to here that you feel this way, but my boyfriend also has diabetes 1 and is going through similar things. The best thing you can do is be supportive , try to cheer him up the most as possible. And try to do things together that will keep his mind off his illness. It is a very hard thing to go through, but they cant do it alone. My boyfriend is waiting for a kidney and also goes through big mood swings. Sometimes I get depressed too, but I remember that I love him and he needs my support. Maybe it would be a good idea for both of you to go to counseling, it might help. you might find some hope in using the information and testimonials on my page.
help him get him on his feet.once he gets better you will be more happier to.just hang in there everything will work out for you. Several years ago my husband suffered a nervous breakdown, it was a very traumatic time and altered our relationship completely (although it had always been difficult), when he came out of hospital I felt forced to take him back because I was his wife and we had two children, though we never had intercourse again. We shared the same bed for five years, ate at the same table, went on holidays etc- but our marriage was a sham. I neither loved nor hated him, he was just someone living in my house!Eventually, I came to the realisation that I couldn’t live my life this way, and that we both deserved the chance to be happy- so we separated.Six years later we are both happy, he has someone else in his life, we still speak on the phone and he sees the children regularly.I have had some new relationships but no one permanent, and remain lonely. but I know I did the right thing.Maybe it made a difference that we no longer loved each other, but you have to make a decision for your own future happiness.Speak to your friends, get things to enjoy doing outside the home, find satisfaction in other ways (not always sexual!), and most of all, be honest with yourself and your partner.I hope all turns out well for you as it did for me, but it won’t be easy.Take care and God bless.
How do you “grieve” the loss of a person who is still living? It sounds like you are slowly killing yourself, that you have been killing yourself over the past six years. It must hurt. not feeling loved, nor cherished for so long. I don’t want to make you feel bad, but how can you redirect the need to feel loved? How can you decrease the need to be touched? Many women go through periods of “neglect” from their husbands (it may go both ways) where they are taken for granted and thedir physical need for hugs and cuddling are basically ignored. But rarely does it last for six years. Even if you had children, a dog, or a hobby. the loneliness will persist. It may lessen the pain, but the loneliness will be an undercurrent that will become a part of your day to day activities. So, if you can deal with that, and only want to take the edge off the pain, then take up a hobby you can develop a passion about, and get a pet. wow i am sorry for your situationjust try to love on him alotmake him stuff, make him cards, etche needs meds, have you tried any anti-depressants?
The only thing I can say Bless YOUR HEART it must be really hard for you but just pray and I will pray for both of you. Lady be very thank-ful that your husband is still alive, and that you can still see him every day. You will feel that much worse after he is gone. Make the most of the relationship while he is still here with you in THESE LIVING YEARS.
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