‘Anti-Christian Bigotry,’ Newt Gingrich? Let’s Ban Bacon!

COMMENTARY | During the 758th Republican presidential debate* (*not the actual number), Newt Gingrich gave America the homophobic retort for which the self-righteous have searched as far as the red-stated eye could see. According to Crooks & Liars, he called questions about basic rights for people who happen to love people of the same sex “anti-Christian bigotry.” See video (5:20), complete with a refrain of the increasing paranoia that “anti-Christian bigotry” is now more common than any other bigotry (5:55).

Laws that require us treat our fellow Americans like fellow Americans are, under this theory, infringing on the “right” of Christians to pick and choose the rights of others. Not allowing them to do so, it appears, is now “bigotry.”

Language isn’t what it used to be.

Mitt Romney agreed. Newt, Mitt, there is a document in this country that is kind of important. You refer to it, but it sounds like you haven’t read it, as it doesn’t figure strongly in these circus rodeos you candidates are calling presidential debates. In that document, there is an amendment that prohibits law-making based upon religious beliefs.

Even if they’re your religious beliefs.

Although, hmm, I don’t know, guys. Maybe I can get behind this.

All this talk about legislating “Judeo-Christian” values from the Republican candidates (Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul) has me, one of those so-called “Judeos” thinking. We have an amazing opportunity here to make inroads into what is important if we can ignore the First Amendment and start writing laws that make sense based on those thousands of years of values you mention.

Let’s ban bacon.

I know, right? It’s genius. Since Kosher laws put some of that “Judeo” into “Judeo-Christian” values, obviously Christians will be behind it.

What is that I hear? Is that … dissent? You can’t dissent, that would be anti-Judeo bigotry. Besides, I’m OK with you thinking about bacon, and you shouldn’t be treated horribly for your pro-bacon thoughts, but it is discriminatory to force me to allow you to eat it. Even asking about it is offensive (now might be a good time to tell you I don’t actually keep Kosher myself, but I think other people should, you know, like Newt and his family values).

Man, you really love your bacon. You can stop yelling at me.

Bacon in no way equates with the denial of basic human rights for an entire group of people because of whom they happen to love, but imagine a nation where my (occasionally hypocritical) beliefs dictate your life.

Not as much fun when they’re not your beliefs, is it? You can call not eating pork trivial compared to forcing “Christians” like Newt not to treat other humans abysmally because they claim their religion requires it, but religious tenets are tenets to the people who practice that religion.

Religious tenets should not be law for anyone, particularly people who don’t practice that religion. Thinking other people must follow laws complying with your religious beliefs? Now that’s bigotry.

People also view

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *