Attraction or Chemistry, Which Comes First?

This shouldn’t be as complicated as the chicken or egg question. How does attraction and chemistry work out? Does mutual attraction actually exist? Is it possible to feel strong chemistry with someone that the other person isn’t feeling? Maybe it’s a case of mistaken chemistry?

I do not believe in love at first sight. Because I have never experienced love at first sight. I’ve never even experienced strong attraction at first sight. It takes me a while to realize my attraction to someone and by that time I’m determined to get the person’s attention and let them know. So far it hasn’t really been working out.

Love is a confusing thing. Or let me rephrase that, romantic love is a confusing thing. It can start as a flame, grow into an inferno, and then decide to fizzle out. That’s confusing enough. But right now I’m struggling with trying to figure out the attraction part that should come before the love part.

Isn’t it supposed to? People don’t typically fall in love with someone they’re not even that attracted to, do they? Are people settling because they’re desperate to be in a relationship? Or are people ignoring red flags to be in a relationship? Such as no chemistry? These are some things I’d like to figure out but before then I still need to figure out how attraction works in the first place.

As the world changes one thing will stay the same, and that’s the need to procreate. In some lands that happens without courtship. But even in arranged marriages there might come a time where the two people that are together realize they’re attracted to each other. And whether we like it or not, attraction is still a huge part of romantic relationships. Maybe even the most important part.

Chemistry is supposed to follow mutual attraction, right? I still haven’t figured it out yet and it’s frustrating me. Which comes first? And how do you know when there’s a spark? I’d like to know. How do you know when that spark starts growing into something more, like attraction or chemistry? I guess it depends on which one you believe comes first but for someone like me, I can’t seem to find either. I need to figure it out. And should the spark happen before, during or after an actual date?

I need to figure out how to turn that spark into possible mutual attraction, and then hopefully chemistry, unless it’s the other way around, in order to get to that growing flame and maybe even an inferno. I want to fall in love. But first I need to find that spark. Whether it’s a spark of attraction or a spark of chemistry, I don’t yet know.

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