“Bi-Polar Roller Coaster”
I cannot control these feelings I have;
I am strapped in for the ride
A roller coaster
Fun
Lust
Passion
Anxiety
Fear
Guilt
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
Waiting for the drop
Holding on
Screaming from the top
In an instant
G-forces
The bottom brings my heart to my throat
Upside down
Which way is up, really?
I can’t get off
They say I’m –
Crazy
Loopy
Unstable
A danger to myself;
Others?
Easy for them to say
They don’t have to enjoy the ride
Embrace the changing tide;
The tsunami of my mind
Caught in a ring of Hell;
Dante’s hurricane for lovers
I smile at the cool breeze
And breathe in my heart’s swell
Hamlet’s paradox:
Why can’t I die?
What’s on the other side?
That’s what keeps me here –
I cry at the thought of a lifetime
Of this roller coaster;
I only pray that God’s Love
Is great enough to keep this ride
From plunging into a great abyss.