Mad Scientist Reanimates Corpses of Van Halen to Create Zombie Van Halen

NEW YORK-Rock legends Van Halen kicked off their latest reunion tour with David Lee Roth recently, crediting mad scientist Dr. Julius Dressent for reanimating their dead, rotting corpses in a controversial experiment. The band proved they’re still a fantastic live act despite their ghastly appearance.

The show was not without its hiccups – guitarist Eddie Van Halen’s right arm fell off during the solo for “Unchained,” and drummer Alex Van Halen sporadically sauntered into the audience in search for brains, while David Lee Roth’s hair had trouble staying attached to his skull.

“It should be noted that last problem there has nothing to do with him being a zombie,” explained Dr. Dressent. “It was like that before I messed around with it. Not my fault.”

“We figured this [reunion tour] is a great opportunity to make money since this zombie craze has really taken off,” stated Roth after the show. “We’ve got zombie TV shows, zombie video games, zombie fiction, so why not a zombie rock band, babaaayyyy?? WHOOOOOAAA ZEEBITY BOP!”

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