How many times as parents have we said, “If I had it to do all over again I would never…..” Here’s a thought why not do it right the first time. Your thinking,” easy for you to say”, well not really, but as a parent of two grown children I do know a thing or two about regret.
My children grew up through the 80’s and 90’s during a very self-indulgent time. There was money to be had, so why not give your children everything. What this created is a generation of narcissist young adults. I call them the “me generation”, it is all about them, and they believe everyone owes them something. Think about it how many thirty year old children do you know that are still living with their parents and being partially or if not completely supported by them.
As a young parent that was trying to get my own career off the ground, working fifty hours a week and trying to run a home as well, I found it easier to just say yes than to deal with the outcry if I refused my child something they thought they needed. You feel guilty for being out of the home so much that you play the old game of replacing your time with material things.
If I had it to do all over again I would of made sure that my children learned that in order to get all of those things you need to work for them as I did. Make them understand that the family is all a team, so if the parent is out of the house working then the children should help to keep the home running, that everyone has a role in the family. To have compassion for those who work hard to make sure their children have the tools to take care of themselves and their future families such as a college education.
When they beg to take those piano lessons or dance lessons and then want to quit when they become bored or think it has become too challenging, now I know I should have made them stick with it. I learned by allowing them to change their minds without consequences I created adults that became quitters. That when things got tough instead of rising to the challenge, they just backed out or gave up and didn’t think anything was wrong with doing so.
My advice when they come to you begging for that video game or new smart phone, instead of just handing it to them because you had a rough day and really don’t need the hassle, think about the adult you will be creating and what parenting skills you are passing onto them.