Can you send some Blonde jokes

Can u send me more blonde jokes

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Why don’t blondes call 911 in an emergency? She can’t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.Come and ChaCha again soon!

Can you send me some new and funny blonde jokes?

http://www.chacha.com/question/can-you-send-me-some-new-and-funny-blonde-jokes

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into 6 pieces or 12. “6 please” she said, “I could never eat 12!”

Will you send a Blond joke

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How can you tell if a blond is a good cook? She gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece. ChaCha!

Related Questions Answered on Y!Answers

I found some Blonde Jokes 4 All?

Q: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.Well, now she’s angry!She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!””Shut up,” she says, “You’re next.” ———————-What do you call an eternity?Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?Toes Go In FirstThree blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said “Disneyland left.” So they turned around and went home.What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?You always hear about them but never see them.What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?Oh,look, Daddy….doughnut seeds! Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?Because it said concentrate.Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?They think their picture is being taken.How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.Why can’t blondes dial 911?They can’t find the 11 on the phone.What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?Run, she’s got a grenade in her mouth!How can you tell if a blonde’s been using your computer?There is white-out all over the monitor.Why shouldn’t blondes have coffee breaks?It takes too long to retrain them.——–A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette said,”Oh, look at the dead bird.” The blonde looked skyward and said, “Where? Where?”————How do you drown a blonde?Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?You have to hollow out the head.How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?Shine a flashlight in her ear.Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?They drowned during spring training.What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?”Duh! Look! They spelled Macy’s wrong!”How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?Tell her a joke on Tuesday.——————-A Blonde says to a brunette, ”Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.”The brunette says, ”Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.”——————A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.The doctor examined her and said, ”You have acute appendicitis.”The blond yelled at the doctor…”I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!”A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.”I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.””Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!” ———————————————Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent,” They throw the switch and nothing happens.They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, “I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell you right now, you ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”———————Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.”Well,” he snarled at the blonde, “what do you want?””I just want to know why you can’t ring the bell for yourself?”—————Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?A: Her IQ goes up!————-Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?A: An air bag.————A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says “Well ma’am, I can’t cut your hair with those head-phones on. You’re going to have to take them off.” She shakes her head vigorously and replies “No, if I take them off, I will die.” He put his hands on his hips and ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones. All he heard was “Breathe in, breathe out, breath in…Q: What is the diffrence between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been seen.—————–A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.”Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?””That’s easy,” he replied. “You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track.””What sort of question would you ask Doctor?””Well, you might ask them…””Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.Which one?”The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -“You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you?””I must confess I don’t know much about history.”—————A blonde’s house is on fire. She calls 911 and says, “My house is onfire.” The dispatcher says, “Well, can you tell me how we get there?””Duhhhh, in the big red trucks, of course!”

A: But I thought that Blondes didn’t know where the 11 is?!LOL read them all over agian and you see what i mean.STAR

anyone want some corny blonde jokes…?

Q: There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp.The genie came out.”I will grant you each a wish,” he said.”Why not,” thought the blondes. “It’s worth a try.””I want to be the world’s best swimmer,” one said, “so I can swim off of the island”. She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.”I want to be a bird,” one said, and flew away immediately.The third and last blonde thought for a while. “I want to be a man.”She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.—————————————————————————————————– blond, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They duck into an alley where they see three potato sacks lying next to a trash can. Thinking quickly they each jump into a sack and pull it over their heads just as the police are rounding the corner. The officers walk up to the sacks and kick the first one that contains the red head. “meow, meow” she says”Oh its just a cat” the cop says.They then go over to the next sack, which the brunette is hiding is and kick it. “woof, woof” says the brunette.”Oh its just a dog” the cops decide.Finally they make their way over to the final sack, where the Blondie is hiding and nudge it with their foot and the blonde says “Po-ta-to…”——————————————————————————————————and finally:I knew a blonde that was so stupid that…….* she called me to get my phone number.* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.*she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.*she tried to drown a fish.*she thought a quarterback was a refund.*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.*she tripped over a cordless phone.*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.*she studied for a blood test.*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home

A: 2 Blondes are walking when they find tracks. The first one says it’s deer tracks. The seconds says it’s bear tracks. They are still arguing about it when the train runs them over.

Do you have any more actually funny dumb blonde jokes for me (no cussing or swearing!)???

Q: Ok, so I am posting some jokes too so you know not to post these jokes! Thanks!Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose… they’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose… they’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.””There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.”Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?”She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.””I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.”Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.”Okay,” says the lawyer,” your turn.” She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.I also know many more jokes so don’t post some that are very common because I’ve heard all of the common dumb blonde jokes! Thanks!

A: Have a laugh at these then:-How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?Tell her that the drinks are on the house What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?A vacant posession What did the blonde’s dentist find?Teeth in the cavity What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?She’s trying to hold on to a thought What is a blonde’s idea of safe sex?A padded dash Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens?They couldn’t find their eraser. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?Run like hell…she’s got a hand grenade in her mouth. Why did the blonde cross the road?She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!