College — the place to figure out the rest of your life or is it? I graduated high school with a plan for my life and entered college thinking that this is where I would figure it out; I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. Now five years later and I am finally about to graduate and I find myself being asked by everyone the one question I can no longer answer. What do I want to do in three months when I finally have that bachelors in English, well let me tell you that if it’s one thing college has taught me it is that what happens next will always be a surprise. If you had asked me four years where I would be right now my answer would be in New Hampshire with my degree and working somewhere in some kind of publishing/editing career; never did I think I would be back in Worcester, going an extra year, and having absolutely no idea what I even want to do with my life.
Last night is when it dawned on me that I am okay with the fact that I have no idea where I am going. I was sitting in a friends drive way and a good friend of mine asked me what I was going to do in a few months when I graduated and without even thinking and no hesitation or nervousness I had felt previously when asked this question I said “I do not have a clue, find some kind of job that pays me well enough to survive for the moment until I find what I really want to do.” He seemed a little taken back, but he’s younger than I am and has a life plan for himself, which I am sure will change another five or six times this year because that is what always happens. I also realized that it is really not accurate for me to say I do not know what I want to do because I have always known what I have a passion for and what I really want to do with my life and that is to write. It is something I have been doing since I was a young child and something that I will never stop doing and as much as I never admitted it before the reason I became an English major is not because I wanted to teach, but because all I enjoy doing is reading and writing. I have no desire to do anything else, well other than be a musician, which just never happened because I never pursued it as much as I should have. It was a such a relief last night to realize that not only have I always known what I want to do, but that I am okay with the fact that I have no idea where I am going next; dare I say, I am looking forward to the fact that I have no idea what comes next. All I know is that if I have it my way I will write; it may not be my only job and it may not be how I end up supporting myself, but I will write and I will do everything I can to get it out there because that is all I want. I will figure out the rest as I go because as long as I am writing I know I will be happy, even if it is around some other job that I somehow fell into after I graduated.
I guess all I am trying to say is that don’t worry about not knowing where you are going no matter what age you are because in reality you don’t have to have a plan, you just have to be willing to do what you have to do to make it to what you want. I want you all to follow your dreams even if they won’t give you millions of dollars, you need to be happy and that is all that matters. It took me five years of college to realize that I needed to do what made me happy not what makes the most money or makes my family the happiest because I have to live this life.
Whether you are in high school, college, or any other part of your life remember to make yourself happy and follow your dreams because you are the one who has to accept the life you choose to live. Take risks, don’t plan to far ahead, and take what life has to offer you on a daily basis. Just be happy and be yourself.