Writing Your Own Vows

Congratulations on getting married! This is a major step in your life, about which you are probably extremely excited. This incredible journey begins in one place: the wedding ceremony. During the ceremony, it is customary to exchange vows as a sense of commitment and promise to your future mate. These vows can either be of a traditional nature or you can chose to write them yourself to add a more intimate and personal touch to your wedding. If you’ve chosen to write your own vows to your future husband or wife on your wedding day you may not even know where to start. You know that you love them very deeply but no matter how hard you seem to try you just cannot seem to find the words to say exactly what you want to express.

If you have decided with future husband or wife to write your own vows then you are forgoing the traditional sets of vows commonly read in ceremonies for something more personal. This personalization makes the wedding ceremony more intimate and personal to just the two of you. Writing your own vows is a personal expression of love that comes from within and you may feel that you do not have words to adequately express the depth of love you have for your future mate. So if you don’t know exactly where to start when writing your vows, it’s okay. It is not the easiest thing in the world to attempt and can seem rather daunting looking at a blank screen or a piece of paper. The longer you stare at that blankness and not knowing what to write, the more overwhelming this task seems to become. However, fear not! It does not have to be as hard as you are making it out to be.

When writing your vows it’s okay to look at other vows to get a general idea of what you want to say and this is a good way to start. Traditional and no-traditional vows can be found all over the internet. A few sites I used for ideas while writing my own are:

My Wedding Vows – this site features a collection of different vows from traditional to original vows. It’s a good place to gauge a general idea of what you want to express in your own.

Bride in the City – this is an Australian site but still full of wonderful example of vows that can be personalized to suit your own needs.

Wedding Ministers – this site offers a great deal of vows on it. There are traditional, non-traditional and personalized vows. The site is inspiring and very easy to navigate as a basic site. Rather than all the vows being on one page, you can look at one set of vows at a time.

To some people, this may seem like cheating but in all honesty, it’s a form of gathering ideas and information. So don’t feel guilty for looking at other vows to obtain ideas for writing your own. If you find words that are eloquent and say what you want you can even borrow lines from sets of vows and incorporate them into your own. Borrowing a few ideas from other vows should give you a general idea of what you want to say and how to say it. Then once you have a set of ideas, you can tweak them to make them more personal and special.

As you write your vows, write them as if you were alone in the room with your significant other and say all that you want to him/her in them. You don’t have to worry about flowery language or sounding profoundly eloquent; sometimes the simplest words are the best way to say how much you love them. Most importantly, as you write your vows, be yourself. Your future husband or wife knows that they didn’t fall in love with Shakespeare, all they are expecting is something personal that comes from within you to show how much you love and care for them. Being profound isn’t what matters when writing your vows but rather being sincere is the goal of your vows.

Most importantly, have fun writing your vows. Remember why you fell in love with your future mate and think of all the special times that you have shared over the course of your relationship. These vows are an expression of your love and life with one another, they don’t have to be perfect because you aren’t perfect. These vows are a commitment you are making with your future husband or wife not with others who are attending your wedding ceremony. Forget all the pressures that come with making your vows sound eloquent but rather, have them come from within your heart. Because you are saying the words to your future partner and mate for the rest of your life they will be beautiful and special.


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