Ms. Verma Innahouse today filed suit in US Superior Court seeking unspecified damages and permission for her son, Turnbuckle Maket, to join the national Honor Society Club at Famous Dead People High School in Atlanta.
Mr. Maket was denied admission to the club on the grounds that his academic achievement does not reach the minimum levels set by the National Honor Society for membership.
“See. They always trying to hold us poor people down,” Ms. Innahouse said at a press conference this afternoon at the Radio Ranch bar just down the street from the court building. “They won’t let my boy in the club cause they say his grades ain’t not near good enough.”
The National Honor Society requires a student have at least a high “B” average for membership. According to school records supplied by Ms. Innahouse, her son has an “F-” average and that is only because the teachers could not figure out a way to give him a lower grade.
“Look. I know my son is about as thick as brick and about a dense as a pound of lead, but that don’t matter none. What matters is his swivel rights has done been impacted by them bunch of egghead knowitalls what that gets them good grades all the time,” his mother said.
Ms. Innahouse insisted her son’s “swivel rights” and not his “civil rights” were at issue.
“My boy is done been civil. His teachers done said he’s about the most polite young’un they got,” she said. “That ain’t the problem.”
Mr. Maket is Ms. Innahouse’ son through her third marriage to Mr. Jawont Maket. She blames her son’s poor academic performance on her husband.
“It’s all them genes he got from his daddy. His daddy is so stupid I have to divorce him twice. He didn’t get none of that stupid from MY side of the family. Nossir. I was a straight B and C student in school,” she said. “I’m just waiting for someone to explain to me why his daddy’s pants make him stupid.”
Among other things the suit alleges Mr. Maket was denied access to “them really smart girls what that would make me the kind of daughter in law I could brag about” and prevented from “figgerin out a way I can win that lottery sos I won’t have to work no more because he can’t hang around them math geniuses.”
Mr. Maket is, through his father, a several times removed cousin removed of Mr. Larry “Hawgin’” Fishbreath of Rt 1 Box 1066.
That probably explains a lot.