Do You Play Favorites? I Do

Little kids are a blessing. They come with inquiring minds, imaginations rivaling master artisans and ask more difficult questions than a theoretical physicist. When my twins were little, they asked me if I had a “favorite.” Back then, I could answer in the negative, and my conscious didn’t bother me one iota. However, as my little sprogs became teenagers, I turned into a liar with flaming pants.

Yes, I know it’s wrong
I know, you aren’t supposed to have favorites. But show me one parent that doesn’t, and I’ll show you someone whose pants should also be on fire.

I love all three of my kids. I would move heaven and earth to make my girls smile. I would gladly jump in front of a moving train for them -but let’s all hope that doesn’t happen. In a way, I suppose I could say that they are all my “favorite”, for a different personality trait. Yet, as much as I hate to admit it, I do have a singular “favorite” right now.

As my twins have gotten older (and now as they are about to leave the nest) I do prefer spending time with one over the other; I prefer the one who is more like me and less like her father.

Hold on a minute…

That isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy spending time with my other twin, she’s great…especially when she has flashes of me in her -that is when I like her best. Truth be told, I don’t like their dad much, so that’s probably the hitch in my get-a-long.

The more my child displays the nasty, negative aspects of my 20-year rotten romance, the more I find myself wanting to spend time with my other twin. And yes, I know it’s “wrong”, but –thanks to revelations of modern psychology– I’m not exactly alone in my favoritism exploits. (And honestly, if you met the man, you wouldn’t blame me for my aversion to his personality traits.)

I am not alone…thank God
Many parents have the same favoritism realization when their children reach adult ages. I know, because I researched it. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t the worst mother in the history of mother-dom. I’m not. –No wire hangars necessary.

I know this revelation takes me out of the running for “Mother of the year”, but I promise that I won’t lose any sleep over that. You see, even though my twins know I have a “favorite”, they both admit that they know I love them both the same. I suppose that counts for something, right? If not, I can always write them a check for therapy.

As kids get older and develop the personalities that they are going to take on for a while -probably through college – you might feel like me, and like child one more than the other. Then again, your pants might be too hot to notice.

I have to ask: Do you play favorites?

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Should you tell your kid she sucks at something?
Please pass the parenting book (I want to hit my kids with it)
How (and why) to teach your kids about money sooner than later

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