I come from a large family of six children and always thought I would also have many children. I married young and immediately became pregnant with a daughter. When she was two years old, we decided it was time for the second baby. It took eight months for me to conceive and only weeks into the pregnancy, I miscarried the baby. Years of trying to get pregnant only brought disappointment each month when my cycle showed up right on time.
False Alarms
Four years later, I thought I was pregnant and went to the doctor (this was before the days of home pregnancy tests) only to be told I was mistaken. I cried for days and was inconsolable. I began using herbs and homeopathic remedies that held the precious promise to help me increase my fertility. These included B complex vitamins along with C and E. Any old wives tale was given a chance without any changes. Chinese herbs such as licorice, Dong Quai, and Chastetree Berry, didn’t work wither. These do work for many women but not for me.
Yet, my monthly cycles became more and more erratic so I learned not to be hopeful when they didn’t arrive as timely as in the past. I began to experience great pain on my left side and a visit to the doctor revealed I was pregnant after all those years. We were ecstatic.
Sad Times
Sadly, five months into the pregnancy, I went into premature labor and gave birth to stillborn twins. Heartsick, we never tried to have more children. But the side pain continued and became excruciating until one night I thought I would actually die. I was rushed to the hospital and admitted.
Tests showed a cyst in the left fallopian tube had ruptured, causing the pain. This was also the reason I had trouble conceiving. The right tube was also in trouble and I had many fibroid tumors in my uterus. I needed an emergency hysterectomy and was taken into surgery that same day.
Broken Dreams
At the tender age of 27, my dreams of more children came to an end and the struggle of infertility was over. I would never feel a child grow in my womb or hear that precious heartbeat. I learned that life goes on and I had my daughter who has given me so much love that I no longer grieve.
Hope and Happiness
Infertility is painful for couples, men and women alike. Today’s technology and medical advances offer hope that did not exist when I tried so desperately to have a baby. However I hope my personal story and struggle have offered something that will inspire and help other women to know their own bodies.