1.When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of ‘em and beat it out of him!
2. You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me.
3. I told that kraut a f*cking thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!
4. So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish!
5. Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax… You’re goddamn right I’m living in the f*cking past!
6. This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the a**!
7.What the f*ck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please
8. Nihilists! F*ck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.
9. No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
10. Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
11. Shut the f*ck up, Donny.
12. No, he’s a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
13. Your wheel! At fifteen m-p-h I roll out! I double back, grab one of ‘em and beat it out of him! The uzi!
14. What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn’t rent it shoes. I’m not buying it a f*cking beer. He’s not taking your f*cking turn, Dude.
15. F*ck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.
16. You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy in to the tournament!
17. Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
18. Those rich f*cks! This whole f*cking thing… I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this f*cking strumpet…
19. So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know…
20. Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules
21. Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
22. Am I wrong?
23. Also, let’s not forget – let’s not forget, Dude – that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city – that aint legal either
24. Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors… and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
Coutresy of IMDB.com