COMMENTARY | Ashton Kutcher stole the show during his debut on the first episode of the ninth season on “Two and a Half Men” Monday night. He not only won over the critics, but the millions of fans who watched his hilarious performance.
The sitcom was growing stale anyway after eight years of Charlie Sheen’s antics both on and off television. Kutcher was the right man to bring it back to life. Sorry Charlie, but the premiere episode garnished the most ratings of any in its entire history, with 27.8 million viewers — all without you.
There are many reasons Kutcher is far superior to Sheen, but let me count the ways.
1. Comedic genius
Although Sheen had a knack for playing his character, Charlie Harper, with an excellent poker face, Kutcher has already shown he is far superior in his comedic ability. His energy and charisma draws viewers in and keep them mesmerized.
Kutcher has already shown how talented he is, playing his slightly “doofus” character Michael Kelso on “That ’70s Show” for seven seasons. He played him so well I was shocked to find out how intelligent Kutcher actually is in real life. Did you know he was studying biochemistry engineering at the University of Iowa when he was discovered back in 1997?
2. Sex appeal
Let’s face it, Kutcher is much hotter than Sheen any way you look at it; we female fans enjoy our eye candy too. It always surprised me how many beautiful women Sheen attracted on that show, but that was just a script. Though he was married to beautiful women in real life, he was also known to pay for sexual services. Kutcher, on the other hand, would probably have to be paid for his services.
Let’s compare. Kutcher is 6’3″; Sheen is 5’9″ or 5’10” depending on who you ask. Most women prefer taller men — it’s just a fact.
Sheen has thin, lizard-like lips, while Kutcher has a big, beautiful smile. Sheen has beady little brown eyes while Kutcher also has brown eyes, but they seem to sparkle with intelligence and kindness instead of anger and manipulation.
No contest.
3. Personality
Of course looks aren’t everything, but Kutcher has that one covered too. Who would you rather be in a relationship with, Sheen or Kutcher? I highly doubt anyone would answer Sheen, who has been known to go on drunken and violent rampages and been accused and charged in more than a few domestic violence cases against his wives as well as other women.
I had forgotten about the time Sheen accidentally shot his fiancee, Kelly Preston, back in 1990. Since then he has had three failed marriages and five children. Kutcher on the other hand has been in a relationship with Demi Moore since 2003, married to her since 2005, and become a doting stepfather to her three daughters.
I am happy Kutcher’s debut was a raving success, and I will become an avid viewer now that Sheen is out of the picture. Good job CBS!