An Athletes Guide to Us (The Fans)

Athletes in many sports are becoming annoying to the point that I don’t want to watch them anymore. Since I don’t want to give up watching my favorite sports, I am providing athletes with this guide to help them understand what our expectations are when we watch them.
First most of us have been following our sport for a long time so we know the history, traditions, and records, so it would help if you know a little bit also. I am not saying you have to be an expert but it would help if you knew a little bit about the team you play for and the players that came before you. Please respect the traditions and records and do not cheapen them or mess with the integrity of them. ( Are you reading this Steroid Era Players!) When going for a record, do not look for an easy way out so you can win it. ( Play the full game to win the batting title Jose Reyes!)
Next do not insult our intelligence. If you did something wrong, admit your guilt and we will flock back to see you. Thank you Andy Pettitte. If you say you used flaxseed oil or took something by mistake or misremembered something you are fooling no one. Then we are rooting against you and hope you go to jail on perjury charges. ( Get the picture Barry and Roger).
You are our mythical everyday heroes. ( The real everyday heroes are the military, police, fire, and emergency personnel that protect us everyday and we Thank you). Being our heroes we don’t want to hear that you are hurt. When I say hurt I mean something that any of us have on any given day. I will give an example. The other day I heard on the radio that a hockey player was not playing the game that night because of general soreness. I mean c’mon I could miss work everyday because of that. You are not getting any sympathy from me on that one. Now I am not saying we are not concerned if you have a more serious injury, then we will feel for you but keep the general soreness to yourself. don’t get me wrong I understand it is physically taxing to play professional sports and most of us cannot do it but we don’t want to hear you whine about it with silly injuries.
Finally do not rub it in. If you are mad at us it is okay to tell us but remember we help pay your salary. That does not give us the right to say nasty things about you or your family and sometimes fans cross the line. Just don’t say something like well you have to go back to your nine to five tomorrow. We know we have to go back to work but remember we are tired because we spent all night watching you then driving home and getting 4 hours sleep to get back to work so we can pay to go see you again. So again Don’t Rub It In!!!