Beware the Emotional Vampire

We’ve all met them as they walk amongst us. Emotional vampires are the sort that first feed off of your resources then quietly slip off not to be seen or heard from again until they need what we willingly volunteer. They generally aren’t available when you need help. They will suddenly be too busy to take your calls, answer your texts or bother reading your emails when it doesn’t benefit them. And they will always have too much going on in their own lives to make time to listen to your “emotional garbage”. Emotional vampires will only resurface when they are hungry for some of your energy, support, friendship and/or money. The irony though, is that they suck you in by playing the victim. Be leery of these toxic people those whose main objective is to suck you in with their tales of woe and struggle for they will leave you feeling empty at the very least and at worst, victimized.

Men are particularly vulnerable to women who are consummate emotional vampires because all she needs to do is bat her eyelashes and look somewhat needy. The next thing you know a sweet guy who wears his heart on his sleeve is jumping through hoops to save this poor sweet damsel in distress by helping her find a job, or offering to take her on a fun date to cheer her up or perform any number of tasks to make her already tragic life just that much easier. Lucky for her chivalry is not dead. Well, not until she sucks the life out of him too.

Emotional vampires pop up in sexual as well as non-sexual interactions. We’ve all had friends/love interests/co-workers and family members who are emotional vampires. But it isn’t so easy to identify these toxic people in the beginning as they come off being very nice at first. They aren’t particularly aggressive or verbally abusive at first and seem quite attentive to our feelings and needs setting up what we are led to believe will be a symbiotic relationship. And then it happens. Sometimes it’s subtle. Other times it hits you like a rusty ice pick right between the eyes. They don’t return your phone calls or text messages — unless they need something from you. They aren’t particularly interested in what you have to say — unless it pertains to them. They may offer to help but never seem to be able to follow through for a host of reasons. If they do ever help you, you never hear the end of it. Or they simply never offer to help you out with any sort of favor or kindness unless there is something in it for them too (mostly for them). And they never initiate any exchanges, that is, unless they are asking you to do something for them.

You are better served to open your eyes to these toxic people as no good will come from interacting with them. It will always be about what you can do for them and never about what that person is volunteering to do for you. It’s ok to be nice (and actually preferential) but when you realize that the giving is one-sided (you doing the giving, the emotional vampire doing the taking) it will benefit you immensely to cut all ties with the other person. They are not your friend. They do not have your best interest at heart regardless of how the relationship was set up when you first met. The cold, hard truth is: they are toxic people.

Once you realize that you’ve been sucked in you should just walk away while trying to delicately remove that rusty ice pick from your forehead and consider yourself fortunate for not having lost more. Unless that person is someone that you can’t extract from your life such as a co-worker; in these circumstances the best course of action is to limit your interactions with them and like a necklace of garlic cloves, surround yourself with as much positive energy as you need in order to ward off these toxic leaches.

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