One upon a time, children, in the countryside near Brussels in Belgium, there lived a rich and prosperous farmer. Cabbage was his biggest, best paying crop. They were just ordinary cabbages but he had a good market for them. Hans Brussels was his name. He was hard working and resourceful but a bit of a scoundrel. He was not very good about keeping his word and he sometimes cheated people who had dealings with him. This was the 13th century and people believed in all sorts of things people don’t believe in today. Much of prosperity was due to the kindly ministrations of his fairy godmother and he had made many promises to her of things he would do to repay her. Time after time, he renigged on his promises.
Finally, his fairy godmother had it up to here! She was really a very sweet person, lovely to behold. but In a rollicking, riveting, rampage of revengeful rage, very unlike her usual self, she waved her magic wand over his cabbage crop and turned them into little miniature cabbages. Hans was devastated! His crop was ruined! Just when he was about to harvest it! He begged and pleaded with her to change it back. She very snottily snarled at him “Good enough for you, you promise breaking, skulking, scheming skunk! I hope they all rot and you with them!”
Oddly enough, the very next day, Lady Estella von Hoffenstein, noted for her fabulous gourmet cuisine which graced the table of her Lordships banquets paid a visit. She was utterly enchanted by his cute little miniature cabbages, She bought the entire crop and made a deal with Hans to have exclusive rights to his future crops. Gradually the popularity of this unusual vegetable spread from Belgium to Holland to nearly all of Europe and finally brought over to our country by European settlers. The speed of its popularity was partly made possible by Hans renigging on his promise to Lady von Hoffenstein! He was, after all, something of a real stinker.
So little children, don’t be like him. Always eat your vegetables, whether you like them or not, so you grow up to be big and strong and healthy and not a big stinker like Hans.
There is, of course some scholarly dispute as to the origin of the name, whether they were named for the proximity to Brussels or the farmer, Hans!