Miss-happen Puzzle Piece

Sorry readers I know it’s been a while since I have been on here, and even though nobody follows me or even reads my things on yahoo, and I apologize for not keeping up with this and updating my pages regularly. Well to start off this glorious return to writing, I have lost the girl of my dreams. Now how did it happen well you may ask, well it all started after my last piece’s and for people that haven’t read any of them here’s the short version.

1. Fall in love

2. Ask her out

3. Go on date

4. Think about Telling her how I feel

5. Marriage?

So after all this I think about doing better and decide to go to college to continue my studies, because not only do I want to have a better life I also want a better life for the girl I might marry. But that’s when things start to go wrong, once I get accepted to college I begin to prepare for my journey to the road of knowledge.

Now my better half (or so I thought she was) tells me that she supports my decision to go back to college. Now while I’m out in college time passes and at first it was great we call each other every night, but as like all things everything comes to an end and the time and distance begin to take it’s toll. It wasn’t until about a week into college that I received the horrible text message (8/19/2011). We need to talk, now being the person I am I begin to think the worst, but knowing her I begin to feel at ease and that calms me down, but it turns out that I guess I just don’t know her as well as I thought I did. So when I received her call at 10:00 p.m., that my heart began to race and my hand began to tremble as I reached for the phone. It was at this time that I felt something was wrong, I believe that part of me knew what was about to happen next. Now this wasn’t because I was psych but because deep down I just knew, because all the hints were there.

1. She talked to me less

2. Hung out with other people late at night and wouldn’t text or call for days

3. When we did talk, it felt as if she had to force herself to talk to me

4. Biggest hint: She missed me

Now don’t get me wrong it’s not like I didn’t visit her or ignore her, it was just the distance. Since I went to college to far from were she lived, I couldn’t visit her as much as I wanted to. But what happened next, mad me disappear within the confines of my own brain. i was literary a walking shell of my former self without a brain or thought. Now that was the beginning of my mistakes, because once that happened I was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. But let’s back up a little, back to when my hand was trembling over the phone. So it wasn’t until I picked up my phone that I began to calm down, and as soon as the blood stopped rushing to my heart, I said Hello? That’s when she began to explain that she had met some one else and that she couldn’t stand being apart from me for so long (I am currently going to a four year university in Texas). Upon hearing this I did what any typical guy would do I began to beg and plead, telling her that I would take less classes and visit her more often. But she said it was to late (I know this sounds a little cliche but this is what she actually said) and as soon as she said this I knew it was over. As soon as she finished explaining what had happened while I was away, she said goodbye and hung up her phone.

Now most people would weep and cry, but not me but I wish I had, so instead what I did as mentioned above. I locked myself within the safety of my mind, but what I didn’t account for was the fact that my body, now not connected to my brain was just a walking pile of rage. It was soon after this that I met one of my friends, and upon meeting him I told him my story he began to belittle me. Now the reason I told him my story wasn’t because I needed a helping hand or support, but because I kept repeating what had happened out load as if I was a recording machine stuck on replay. Now this probably wasn’t a good time to make me mad, but he was drunk and he was trying to walk back to the dorm. (He wasn’t my roommate but we lived in the same building so we were bound to meet) So as soon as his descending comments left his mouth, my hands left my side and began to fly towards his face. Upon impact he was out, now lucky for me he was close to his room so once he was down I knocked on the closest door within my vicinity and left hoping someone was there and they would find him.

Luckily they did but I will never forget that moment when my fist made of flesh made contact with his face and I could hear a loud pop, and fell the flesh on his face come into contact with the flesh on my hand. Now I didn’t feel the pain in my hand until later when I began to come to my sense’s. It was this event that lead to many other’s because the next day I was jumped and beaten down by his friends while he watched with the crooked smile across his face, and part of me knew I deserved it. But that wasn’t the only reason I let it happen, I also let it happen because I wanted to feel something, even if it was pain. Now I’m recovering and I’m still sad about how everything went down, but I guess all I can do is move on and try to do the best I can in college and try and figure out how I’m going to pay for all the loans I received to pay for college.

Now I’m not complaining about my debt, I know many college students also suffer from debt, but that’s also why I am writing. So that I can make money on Hub Pages or other sites such as yahoo. I’m not going to sit around and let the world push me around, instead I’m going to do something about it and I hope that every word I type helps. But Just like I said in the beginning of this page I doubt anyone will read this or will take the time to read (but if you did thank you). Right now it is 5:56 A.M. (8/26/2011) and as I type this to you I apologize for any jumble of words or misspelled words, I am to tired to review my work and I am to worn out both physically and mentally to check for mistakes. But if you are reading this I want you readers to know I will write often now that I have no one to love or hug, and because this is the only way I can think of that will make me money to pay for my enormous college debt. But the hidden purpose for these writings is t o relieve stress, to tell my story, and to let other’s learn from my mistakes. Because right now I believe that sometime’s it’s just better to cry.

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