Number One Suggested New Year’s Resolution for Hollywood Comedy Producers: Keep Danny McBride Away from Real Talent

Comedy for 2011 in Hollywood did not reach quite the heights it was expected to. A number of big time comedy films tanked and the runaway hit of the year was a surprise chick flick that masqueraded as an R-rated guy flick. Resolutions to improve things are not exactly Hollywood’s stock in trade, but if the town responsible for entertaining America wants to improve things in 2012, they can put one big resolutions right up there on the top of the ball that comes down in Times Square. Yeah, yeah, Times Square isn’t in Hollywood, but New York is practically the same thing to most of the country.

The number one resolution at the top of what should be an enormously long list of resolutions that Hollywood’s comedy mavens need to make is to keep talent away from Danny McBride. Try to name another relatively unknown Hollywood personage responsible for starring in a movie he wrote that attracted names like Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Portman, James Franco and Toby Jones. What did these actors see in the script for “Your Highness” that was so attractive that they committed their time that could have been so much better spent making any other movie? Nobody will ever know. If Hollywood wants to improve the comedic landscape of 2012, then don’t allow Danny McBride to get anywhere near actual talent.

Comedy films released by Hollywood in 2011 all pale in comparison to “Your Highness” in terms of everything that you could possibly do in a film that would be the least likely to produce laughs. In a way, then, “Your Highness” has the potential to become the most important comedy movie of 2012 despite the fact that it somehow managed to be released into theaters the previous year. All any studio exec or producer or director or screenwriter or actor need to do before writing, making, editing or releasing a comedy next year is sit down and force themselves, Ludovico Technique-style, to sit through “Your Highness.” The act of getting through that cinematic abortion can become a semester-long class in how to create comedy by revealing everything that you should not do.

The box office receipts for Hollywood in 2011 were extremely disappointing. While the blame for Hollywood’s money woes are not entirely due to comedy films underperforming, none of the movies that weren’t comedies released in 2011 exist so perfectly as an example of what not to do as “Your HIghness.” With, perhaps, the exception of “The Green Lantern” as a model of how not to make a superhero movie.

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