As a parent, finding out your child has conceived a child of her own probably isn’t the most welcoming news at this point in their lives. Maybe they’re still in high school, junior high or even middle school. Stop asking yourself what you could have done to prevent this from happening and start dealing with what you can do for your daughter now.
Despite your child’s seemingly extreme passiveness regarding the subject matter, realize that you’re likely not the only one freaking out or losing it on the inside. Feelings of guilt, uncertainty and anxiety are trapped inside of your daughter right now. This being said, continually harassing her is not a gentle or intelligent way of approach. This will only turn her against you. Your kid needs you right now, but she doesn’t need your thoughts, your opinions or your negative input. She just needs your loving support in this time of ultimate chaos.
From my own experience, I can say that a good way of keeping a relationship strong, healthy and happy is always thinking toward the future. Do you really want to look back 10 or 15 years from now and remember a time when you made your daughter’s life unbearable for bringing a beautiful life into this world? So that every time you think about or see your grandchild, you recall getting angry or upset over their existence? The only thing you can do now is to accept it and move on. Even if your kid doesn’t admit to this, she trusts your parenting skills much more than you give her credit for. And what you probably don’t know is that at this very moment, she’s secretly hoping that you’ll give her some much needed guidance along the road and advice on what to expect in pregnancy.
Teaching your daughter how to be a good mother is important, and I can’t think of a better time for this. Don’t get hurt or angry. Instead, make an effort to really start loving your daughter and grandchild now before it’s too late.