Does your work still feel aligned with your purpose, or does it really just feel like a means to an end? Although I was lucky enough to love being a sales rep turned recruiter, turned business owner/developer…I was always spending my time in those roles to make money to buy the things I wanted, and to buy the lifestyle that I wanted. I’m not talking jewelry or clothes, but the big things in life, like paying off the mortgage of the home we built, buying a beach home, buying our cars with cash, buying an investment property, starting a college fund…those types of things..large life investments.
Now that most of those things have been accomplished, or close to being fulfilled, I have found that I am able to take more risk in my career, giving myself the freedom that I’ve also wanted just as much as those ‘things’. In fact, I’m pretty sure I was chasing the freedom even more than the stuff, but freedom does come at a price. At least the kind of freedom that most of us desire. I suppose it’s where we draw that line. You can have freedom in an 800 sq. foot condo with everything paid for and money in the bank, and that will take you so many years of hard work and saving. Or you can have freedom in a 6000 sq. ft. estate home, with money to spare, which will take a different level of commitment and time. And then of course, there’s everything in between. We each have to find our own American Dream that we believe is attainable, and make it happen. I suppose it really gets fun when life gives you more than your wildest dreams, but I’m not at that level yet. For now, I’m at a good, safe, comfortable place, where I can afford to take bigger risks, and therefore ready to re-write my life plan, and change course a bit…ready to map out a new future.
Like my financial advisor had said to me – She has clients that make $60,000 a year that are financially secure and living their dreams, and then she has clients that make $2M a year and are near bankruptcy, and living in fear. We each need to decide what is good enough for us. Trying to be sure not to make the mistake of getting the one dream at the expense of another, more important dream. How many people do you know with a fat bank account, but with unhappy children? I wouldn’t call that a success story either! And once you know what that dream looks like, you have to map out exactly how to get it, step by step. Often, when starting on this path after college- you may not have as many choices as you like, and you do not have the luxury of being choosy – you have to pay the bills, and are just starting to build your life. But, in time, as you follow your plan, and continue to be smart with your time and money, keeping your eye always on the big picture, you will see everything fall into place.
Eventually, you will have more breathing room, more security, and get to the place where you feel in charge of your destiny. For me, I think that was the moment I started my own business back around 2003. My income dropped from the six figure income I was used to for a while, as I was getting the business off the ground, but then surpassed my corporate job income. I think that most risks pay off, when you are truly following your heart. And how much of a thrill it was to be able to be a ‘stay at home working Mom’. I felt like I was charting my own course, and didn’t have to play by the rules. Thank God that I had great male and female mentors who were much older than me guiding me along the way- thank you Peter Groop, Sharon Mengel, and Vince Alcarese- all wonderful mentors. My mentors were trained by the best company in the world at the time- GE, which was my first job after college. But they were also entrepreneurs that made sure the company served them- they did not serve the company. They were happy servants to their clients, which felt like friends, as we wined and dined the best ones. And yet, they used what they learned from ‘Corporate’ America to fine tune their God given gifts- their salesmanship, charm, the part in them that made people want to be around them and trust them.
After a decade in the sales and recruiting business, both working for companies, as well as consulting thru my own business- I set a new road map for myself. I guess I’m re-charting my ‘life map’ every few years to make sure it has new challenges, and helps me from not getting bored of myself? And gets me closer to the feeling of happiness and peace that I seek. I remember when I needed a change from my recruiting business. I had just ended a business partnership, and my kids were old enough that I didn’t need a full time nanny anymore. And since my husband’s job now allowed him to work from a home office full time as well- I thought I’d like to try something new and travel to some new locations.
I had already traveled much of the country interviewing people for jobs that I was working on, but was getting tired of the same old routine, and again had reached a point, where I had a little more flex room to take some risk- emotionally and financially. It was over the summer of 2008 I believe, as I sat on the beach, and decide to think of a new dream. It needed to piggyback off all of my experience thus far, but also needed to bring some new fresh things to my life. I’d been recruiting and hiring in the same Industry for some time then, and thought of new industries that could be new and exciting.
I decided on clean technology- solar, wind, geothermal, electric car, smart grid companies- that sort of thing. It seemed new and hot, and an industry about to boom. I then decided, ideally, if I was going to make a change, it would be nice to travel to some places I’d like to visit- especially in the winter months. I decided California would be a nice location, as I’d only been to San Francisco a couple times, and never visited Southern California. Florida would be nice as well from Jan- March. And so, I went about dreaming up a new dream. I can expand on how everything fell into place later, but bottom line, by my birthday that year in the Fall, I had a new client/ future employer, employing me to use my recruiting and Business Development expertise to attract new clients to them. During 2008, and 2009 I was living the dream I dreamt up that summer, but the money wasn’t close to what I was used to, so I started dreaming some more. I could have viewed this as a failure, but I had made so many great contacts, and enjoyed so many great trips, and had so much fun, that it didn’t feel like work anyway. And then an unexpected call came in with an offer giving me more freedom, and more money to continue on this path. Now, as I write this, here in the winter of 2012, I’ve been living that dream for over 3 years now… This winter would be my 4th trip to many of the same conferences on my annual calendar, and to my surprise, my company offered me more freedom by asking me to provide them with a budget for whatever travel I would like to do here in 2012. But again, like much of my career, this still feels like a means to an end. And after 3 years of the same routine, I’m still getting that itch…
Haven’t we all heard that when you are living in your true purpose- it won’t feel like a means to an end, but simply like you’re living your dream. The problem being that most of those things have not earned me money. I love to write, I love to paint, I love to do charity work (especially with my Golden Retriever who became a certified therapy dog last year). Although I’ve been good over the years at selling, recruiting, retaining clients- I’ve grown tired of negotiating contracts and weekly conference calls. I’m almost 40, and I need to start living my real dreams now, not just doing what I’m good at or what the world has rewarded, but doing something more meaningful, that still aligns me with my most important priorities, and something that is more nourishing to me spiritually these days.
I must also remember that I’ve only recently stopped enjoying those roles, a slow decline over the past couple years. There was a time, I must not forget, that I loved each job- selling GE Capital in Washington DC, selling pharmaceuticals on the Main Line outside Philadelphia, selling MRI software in NYC, interviewing people in almost every major city in US for large clients, to then flying to warm locations every winter for Business Development in the Clean Tech industry. I mustn’t sound ungrateful for those times- because they have been great, and I’ve had almost too much fun while making good money to ever complain. I suppose that although I now look back and see those career moves as a means to an end…I’m just realizing that those roles simply no longer serve me. The same way I realized after entering thousands of pieces of information into a company database one day that, hey- wait a minute…. Is this database serving me, or am I serving the database?! I was the servant, for sure. The way I spent my time changed significantly after that realization. It’s one thing to be of service to other people, there can even be a true calling in that, but never be a slave to an electronic!
So, in realizing that certain roles can serve you at different times in life- child to sibling to student to worker to owner to investor to whatever next… we must decide which direction to chart our life, and update that plan accordingly. Trying to bring all of the experience you’ve built so far, and let it bloom into something maybe completely different. Just because you start watering a little seed, that then turns into a little sprout, which evolves into a stem, with leaves. Some leaves may die, but if you keep watering your little plant, it eventually blossoms and the bloom can look nothing like the little green leaves or stem, just like the green stem may look nothing like the brown seed you started with.
And that change is good and necessary. Who would want to be stuck in the same role all your life? Well, I suppose many people may enjoy that, but that’s not in my DNA, and we must embrace our desire for change, because it’s there for good reason. It’s hard to leap into the unknown, but if you search your heart for where you are meant to go next, do not be afraid to map out that course, plan the route you will go, working backwards each step of the way, and then follow your plan. Years ago, I may have been a sales person, and then I may evolved into a recruiter who evolved into a business developer who is now evolving into a mentor and writer. But all of these great things would never have even got started if I was afraid to dream bigger, and plan out my dreams- don’t let fear get in the way of any new path that your heart desires.