I have a theory. I don’t claim to be an authority but I think that my opinion is worth expressing. I grew up with a mother who was a sociopath. I believe that she didn’t have a conscience. I was confused because I had read a lot about people who are sociopaths and all that I have read said that sociopaths don’t feel nor have empathy for others. What I realized after closer study was that they had deep feelings for themselves. They are easily hurt and often take things personally. I believe that many of them, like my mother, would become incensed if you dare say anything to them that smacked of disapproval or criticism.
You cannot have a healthy or honest relationship with a sociopath. They are incapable of having healthy relationships. Sociopaths are “all about me.” If something doesn’t benefit them or isn’t for them, they are not interested. I believe that narcissism goes hand in hand with being a sociopath.
I know that being in recovery not just in AA but also in Alanon, that there is a school of thought among professionals that many times people who are actively drinking often times are diagnosed as being sociopathic. If they get sober and really start recovering many times they began to feel for others and have empathy. This is where my theory began.
My mother was a very sensitive child. I have other family members who were and are very sensitive as well. I don’t know if it comes from being artistic in temperament or if it is just something that they are born with. I am a very sensitive person also. Unfortunately I take on others feelings and pain way too often. I empathize to the extreme. I wish that it were easier for me to turn off my feelings sometimes. People like my mother though, I think often have been emotionally and spiritually injured to such an extreme that they totally turn off any feelings of empathy for others. Maybe they become so bitter that the only ones that they can truly have feelings for are themselves.
I do believe that if they get professional help, and get into recovery from whatever addictions that they may have, or abuse, and start healing spiritually, by turning their lives over to God, that they can heal their broken hearts. They can begin to have healthier relationships and become good parents, children, and relatives to others in their families. They can be good friends and become very good contributing members of society.
If their pathology is because of abuse and it is not a case of nature instead of nurture, I don’t think that you can find people any more empathetic and loving than one who is recovering from being a sociopath. Unfortunately we have had very little experience with this in our family. We keep praying for those who suffer and hope someday that they will find God and heal.
Again I say that this is only my unprofessional opinion. I am interested in the opinions of others on this topic.