Rule 1: Empower yourself
Surround yourself with positive images of your ideal self. Whether hoping for greater career success, a happier family life or achieving any other dream, make your goals a reality with these tips:
Create a collage of images depicting your desires and what you hope to accomplish, pictures can be found on the web and in magazines and books. Review this collage daily. Surround yourself with positive people and wise counsel; eliminate negativity at all costs. Enroll in a college course to build your skill set and increase employment opportunities. Seek out special interest groups, seminars and clubs that reflect your goals, examples include empowerment seminars, a job seekers’ group and book clubs.
Taking the time to invest in your mind and building your self-esteem will bring you to a positive emotional state and empower you.
Rule 2: Discover your vulnerabilities
Most of us don’t recognize our weaknesses or simply ignore them. Recognizing our vulnerabilities will often help us reconcile why we’ve had bad relationships. Sometimes, there are unconscious factors that attract us to bad partners. These vulnerabilities follow us into other areas of our lives until we confront and deal with them:
Analyze your past. Are there any negative emotional patterns that may have been imparted as a result of life experiences? (I.e., neglected as a child or a traumatic event). List three of your most negative memories, then write a short paragraph on how each may have negatively impacted your more recent life. Write your 10 greatest fears, regrets and anxieties. Next to each fear, regret and anxiety, write in a single sentence how you can overcome or move beyond what is hindering you. Seek a spiritual path: attend inspirational seminars, follow a motivational speaker, connect with a guru or mentor who is living the life you want or seek professional counseling.
Rule 3:Reinvent the wheel
Almost everybody these days has a sad story. You know, the “my mother or father didn’t do this or that,” “so and so took advantage of me,” “we were poor,” etc. Make peace with your past. Remember no one gets to have the rest of your life, so don’t give it to them. Recognize cyclical or self-defeating patterns that keep occurring in your life, perhaps you may have observed that it is generational in nature, but make a conscious decision to reinvent the wheel and not repeat patterns. In other words:
Revise your own life story, if you were ever left devastated, re-envision a more powerful you in every one of those experiences. What would the better version of you do? Take life lessons from each one. Be proactive about every decision in your life. Don’t give your power away by relying on people; learn to be self-reliant first. Focus on a current problem in your life then think about what YOU can do to rectify the situation. What’s the first step you can take to resolving the problem? Meditate daily on your desired outcomes, and not on your fears. Use positive self-talk as a means of creating the life you want. Do this for at least 10 minutes a day.
Rule 4: Know your worth
Knowing your worth isn’t about money, it’s about loving yourself enough to avoid unhealthy relationships. Consider these steps:
Write a list of your greatest qualities and greatest successes. Carry this list with you in your wallet and review and add to the list daily. Write another list of how you positively influence your friendships and other relationships. What do you bring to relationships? Loyalty, ambition, humor, sensibility, kindness, sensitivity, strength? Envision yourself in the ideal relationship. How do you act? How does your friend or mate act?
You should expect to be treated with the degree of goodness that you are exhibiting in a relationship. There should be an even exchange of virtues at all times.