After my first child was born, I sat down with my brand new baby and tried to practice how to breastfeed in public without exposing myself. As I struggled with my shirt and tried to juggle the baby around, I was incredulous. “How the heck do women do this?” I wondered as it quickly became clear that I was nowhere near skilled enough to lift up my shirt, disconnect the nursing bra and latch on the baby, all without flashing my breasts to the world during the process.
I despaired that I would never be able to nurse the baby in public until a good friend who was already an experienced nursing mother was kind enough to give me a nursing blanket. The nursing blanket had a soft loop on top that hooked over my neck, connected to a large blanket-like fabric that was big enough to cover things up while I maneuvered the baby around underneath, all without a single shocking glimpse of skin. Suddenly, nursing in public didn’t seem so impossible after all.
By the time I had my second baby, I owned several nursing blankets and kept them in various places, like the stroller, in the car, and in the diaper bag so that I could nurse just about anywhere. By the time my third child came along, I could put on my nursing blanket, attach the baby, and keep on walking. I nursed whenever and wherever and even once nursed in the middle of a hike without even breaking my stride.
Even though I gained skill and confidence during my adventures in breastfeeding, not everyone was as enthusiastic as I was about the fact that I nursed my babies in public. More often than not, when I had the nursing blanket on and a baby underneath, people of all ages (both men and women) would either stop or stare. Sometimes people would glare at me and a few people would mutter angrily under their breath as they passed by. Mind you, I was always covered up completely, but the mere fact that I was nursing seemed completely offensive to some. One time, I plopped down on a bench at the entrance to a local Target store, put on the nursing blanket and started to feed my hungry, howling baby, only to find an annoyed employee standing next to me, tapping her foot. “We have restrooms for that, you know,” she huffed angrily.
No, I don’t know. I thought restrooms were for going to the bathroom. Granted, some restrooms are awesome and have a whole separate area for nursing or changing a baby, with a chair and a footstool and everything. But that is the exception to the rule and is usually limited to stores specifically directed to a parenting audience, like Babies ‘R Us or an infant clothing store. Most of the time nursing mothers are forced to find a quiet place tucked away in the back of a store or restaurant to feed the baby and hope not to offend or anger too many people by the mere act of nursing. And mind you, I have in fact nursed in more restrooms than I care to count, sometimes miserably slouched down on the floor that is contaminated with who-knows-what because there is simply no other place to nurse in peace and quiet.
I couldn’t help but notice that somehow no one got mad if I was spoon-feeding the baby some strained carrots in a public place. I was never asked to remove myself and go finish feeding the baby in the bathroom. But nursing the baby under an all-encompassing blanket that covered me better than my shirt or sweater? Distasteful at best and horrifying at worst, at least according to some.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC), almost 75 percent of new mothers have breastfed their babies at one point in the first six months of life. 75 percent is a lot. So why are so many people uncomfortable with the concept and why does it remain so taboo?
The concept is so controversial that breastfeeding is no longer shown or mentioned on the PBS children’s program “Sesame Street” despite being shown and mentioned on the show regularly in the 1970s and 80s. No one’s breast was bared, but mothers sat and nursed their bundled-up babies on television, explaining to curious kids (and one rather large bird) that nursing was one way to feed a baby. Not the only way, not the best way, but one way to feed a baby.
I’m still not sure why the idea of a mother breastfeeding her infant, which after all is how babies have been fed for thousands of years in almost every known area of the world, is so controversial. Watch television, go see a movie or even look at most magazines and you’ll see boobs everywhere. Not only is it acceptable, the concept is downright encouraged. So what is it about nursing? Is it that the breast is no longer a sexual object if a baby is attached to it? Suddenly the almighty breast is making everyone mighty uncomfortable if it is producing milk and feeding a child instead of being perched in something tiny and covered in lace.
In 2006, a woman and her family were removed from a Freedom Airlines flight, which is operated by Delta Air Lines, after a flight attendant asked the woman to cover up while she was breastfeeding her 22-month-old daughter before the flight took off. The woman informed the flight attendant that she had a legal right to breastfeed and declined to cover up with a blanket, at which point she was asked to leave the flight. A spokesman for Freedom Airlines later stated “A breast-feeding mother is perfectly acceptable on an aircraft, providing she is feeding the child in a discreet way.” The woman later filed a complaint against the two airlines. For the record, she was right – she did have a legal right to nurse in public.
I’m with the parents who want to see nursing brought back to Sesame Street, especially if the topic continues to be presented as simply another way to feed a baby. I’m also in favor of mothers nursing their children whenever and however they find best. Mothers should have the option to breastfeed if they want to and should get lots of support and encouragement if that is road they choose. If moms decide that breastfeeding isn’t for them, hooray for that choice too. The decision should be made between the mom and her doctor, not the public at large. And anyone who sees a mother breastfeeding in public should simply move on or look away, especially if the sight makes them uncomfortable. After all, it’s not like you’re being asked to participate.