Store Santas Trained to Lower Kid’s Christmas Expectations

COMMENTARY | The Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School, which trains department store and shopping mall Santas, is training its students to deal with the Christmas desires of children in an era of economic malaise, according to the Daily Mail.

The idea is to tamp down on the expectations kids will have about what they’ll find under the tree. In order to judge what kids should expect, the school is training their Santas to size-up the kids’ parents to try to determine what socio-economic level they happen to be in and thus ascertain what they can afford.

On the one hand, this seems to be a rather sad concession to the continuing economic malaise. Dreams of iPads and video game systems under the tree, even if unfulfilled, can be a balm in a household where the folks are wondering where the next meal is or the mortgage is coming from. As long as Santa is careful not to make any specific promises, everything should work out.

Besides, how does one tell how rich someone is by what they wear? Some of the richest people in the world – the late Steve Jobs comes to mind – dress like slobs. An out of work middle manager will, more often than not, dressed rather well, especially if he or she has stopped by the mall after a job interview.

Here’s an idea. If you don’t want your kid wanting the latest electronic gadget, take him or her to the mall while dressed like a homeless person. Then Santa will do your work for you in making sure the kid doesn’t expect anything.

Tina Korbe, writing at Hot Air, has an interesting idea. Why not send politicians to the Santa school and teach them to lower expectations from their constituents. Perhaps they will learn not to promise that new bridge to nowhere or health care entitlement that the country can’t afford.

My favorite story of a store Santa lowering expectations comes from the classic film “A Christmas Story.” The movie, set in the 1940s or thereabouts, concerns the quest of a young lad to get a Red Ryder BB gun, even though his mom is reluctant. He asks Santa for the weapon at one point. His response, brief and to the point, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” No nonsense, no hand-wringing over the idea of parental poverty, just a helpful warning.


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