With a little over a year of my husband’s active duty service in the Navy, I still consider myself new to military life. That being said, I have written this article for all service members’ spouses who are about to, or who have just started, their lives in the military.
The first thing you can expect from your spouse is a new way of “communicating”. They will start using all types of confusing acronyms to describe their work or experiences. My husband started using them right after basic training and I have learned that sometimes it is better to smile and nod like you understand than it is to ask too many questions.
Another form of “communication” that can pop up and may be otherwise new to you is their sense of humor. My husband tells me of all the jokes and other things that are said on the ship and which he thinks are hilarious; I may laugh, but I’m also shocked by how crude or vulgar they can be. Whoever said, “Talks like a sailor”, got their information completely correct.
One thing that particularly surprised me when we first moved to our duty station was the complete lack of neighborly support. I had envisioned that every neighbor knew one another and banded together in times of need. Not the case on my end. We’ve lived here for over a year and only one neighbor has introduced herself.
A really important lesson I have learned is about your choice when it comes to housing. If you have the option to live off base, and in a military community, choose that option. You will receive BAH (a monthly housing allowance) which may exceed your housing communities cost to live there. This means you will have extra income and – here’s the best part – the amount that is charged to live there generally includes all utilities. Do some research before you decide where you want to live.
Another thing I quickly learned is that military life as a new spouse can be lonely; especially if you don’t have a job. Try to make friends with your neighbors (if they’re willing) or enlist your spouse to ask among those he/she works with if anyone is married and has a spouse at home in the same situation as you. My husband did this for me it has generated a few friends.
Also, as you make friends and meet people, you will surely find out there are those spouses who absolutely despise military life, are indifferent to it, or they love it. Try to stick with individuals who have the same outlook on this lifestyle that you do.
Lastly, check up on military discounts given by restaurants, stores, etc. in your area. I have found that quite a few places offer them, they just don’t advertise them. Basically, if you go somewhere, ask, you might be surprised.